Some days my to-do list of obligations and self-promises is just too bloody long – too much to do, too many places to go, too many people to accommodate, too many obligations and too many little decisions made in the past (they seemed so innocent at the time – but they’ve created this sense of obligation to do them) which result in all those ‘to-do’ items being on my list today. Or any day for that matter. Do more, or do less? Plan more, or plan less? Oh bother … what to do!
Go, or not go.
Do, or not do.
Show up, or stay home.
These ‘either/or’ choices fill every day. So many things impact choice/obligation tug ‘o war in the mind – choosing what to do, or doing what others have chosen. Attending meetings, functions or appointments are part of our social infrastructure. And certainly part of every business schedule.
Why do we go, or say we’ll go – when, as the time arrives, we vacillate on what to do, whether or not to go? Excuse making, ‘creative conflicts’ and indecision are the reality we face.
Sure, “I’m sick – sorry I can’t make it” works. Works best if we are truly ill. Not so much if we weren’t.
Forget those excuses or contrivances – just ‘be honest’, do what you want to do. Don’t do what you don’t want to do, don’t go where you don’t want to go – and don’t spend time with people you don’t want to be with.
NOW, once that decision is made, real feelings arrive.
Regret, or relief?
Happy, or sad?
Clear, or fuzzy?
Now you have the real answer – and in most cases I find the after-feelings of these choices feel better than going along with what I didn’t want to do. Maybe it’s a strange way of making awkward choices, but I’ve found more and more that I regret choices less and less.
We all have to find what works best for us.
Nobody wants to miss a great experience and it is sometimes uncomfortable to explain a change of plans, a cancellation or a request to reschedule – but once you get used to ‘politely declining’ or recalculating/rescheduling, you’ll likely find as I have that those decisions almost always feel best when all is said, when all is done.
Why am I so sure of this?
Because things we really really really want to do, things we are strongly committed to following through no matter what – never have us wresting with these issues of stay-go, arrive-cancel etc.
Do what you want to do unless you don’t want to do it. Pretty simple really …
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