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YESTERDAYS
… reflections, grief and unfinished business
Wednesday Apr. 16, 2014
Many ‘about life’ questions come without assurance any answers can be found.
We run, flounder, wobble – plunge.
We find strife, tragedy, troubles of every sort – daunting elements of uncertainty, fear, doubt – this is LIFE. What is life but terrifying, amid awesome adventures, formidable self explorations and breathtaking mysteries?
And surprises. Don’t forget surprises. They have their own agenda . . .
What other purpose should we have?
Some say taking care of others – family, friends, neighbours. Sure, that makes sense. Some champion care of other things – industry, government, society, organizations.
Most would agree industry, government, society, organizations ought not to be our priority, but when we look at the evidence ….
We all serve many masters but I suspect we all serve one purpose. Figuring that out – our greatest challenge.
I’ve spent considerable time on this lately, my thinking coloured by recent losses – asking, ‘what was the purpose of their lives?’.
What was their purpose for them, what was their purpose for me?
Now you see my problem.
Was my dad’s purpose to give me life?
Was Gary’s purpose to give me perspective?
What would others say their life’s purpose was?
Seen that way, it isn’t a matter of purpose, but one of cause and effect. What did they cause in the world? What was their effect?
What’s yours? What’s mine? Good questions?
Without knowledge of the horror, or its cause, Calgarians absorb shocking news, mass murder of five university students early yesterday. As thoughts go out to their families, one must wonder, about those youngsters whose lives were taken away, what did they cause in the world?
What was their effect?
Mark Kolke
198,608
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: -4C/25F, light snow falling on top of last night’s frozen rain; very gingerly we walked the shortest distance possible to accomplish Gusta’s requirements and miraculously neither of us fell. A good day for insurance adjusters.
Reader feedback / comments always welcome:
Mark, your recent flow over the past few days about time and attention did two things. First, it caused me to recall that I really do have a perfect memory. It just doesn't last very long. Second, your flow motivated me to put things right. So, I went through my schedule to prioritize and eliminate things that are a total waste of time. But, wouldn't you know it -- on my way to being all organized and tight on time and whatnot, struggling mightily up to my 2nd floor office, I dropped every last one of my thoughts and notes and records and books and scheduling aids down the stairway, all the way to the basement landing. Ass over teakettle, they call it. Made quite a racket. Proof that random sorting follows entropy rules. Reminded me of that wonderful strategy for marking university essays -- throw them all down the stairs. The ones that reach the bottom get the highest grades. Anyway -- my estimated savings from this effort: -5 hours, 42 minutes, 11 seconds. Yes, that's a "minus" sign in front of the five. Took me almost six hours to sufficiently recover my composure to put some semblance of order back in my life. Now, let me reassure you that none of this was your fault. I am entirely responsible for losing my grip. Hey -- I mean my grip on that wobbly stack of five non-matching, heavy, plastic office boxes that went tumbling and crashing towards the Earth's core -- nothing else! I haven't lost my grip on too much more, not yet, as far as I know. Others who might know different are still too polite to say anything. Now, I see this unfolding of events as yet another in a long line of gifts from my Zen master. He has not yet given up trying to teach me things when I least expect them, or when I am being so bloody-minded that nobody else would bother. So, I sat down and downed two scotches, neat, in his honour. And, to match the occasion, I actually used a tumbler! Then, in the sorting of all the bits that had been scattered well past hither and far beyond yon, I actually found many things I could now throw into the outdoor steel mesh fireplace, out on the deck. I applied a spark! They generated much heat and light into the early morning! A soupcon of white gas helped! Progress! Cheers, BE, Calgary, AB
Boy, did I not see that one coming. I read cradling and thought as in cradling one's head in one's hand, cradling a baby in one's arms and when you add aggressive to the mix you get something physically not nice. On the right track now. GW, Bon Wier, Tx.
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