Trust this process, go through your motions and emotions.
The other side arrives. Really does.
Raw edges of life hurt – like grazing a rough timber or brick façade with your arm, only deeper and hurting more. And longer. Usually without a visible external wound. It’s all inside. That’s where we store it. Some people process it, others leave it stored like things that pile up on a chair and eventually you forget what’s at the bottom of the pile. NO. Of course you don’t forget – you just kid yourself because it seems out of daily view. My theory is that nobody else knows, or sees, or has a clue,
It leaks out all the time when we least expect. They, those who see us in action, don’t know the why but they sure get a show of something that screams out.
Pain in that moment seems minor compared to how long-after-pain lingers. Someone recently told me about their loss, both death of their child and pain of getting that news, then followed by grief where rage and pain lived together.
They didn’t go away, they just shifted focus and direction.
Like most deep pain and grief we encounter, there are stages and steps and time to elapse before moving onward can happen. Too often, in situations I’ve seen and a handful of personal ones, it is so easy to get-over-it quickly, stoically moving on without staying in the raw-state long enough.
But that’s what we want to do, right? Get over, get through, get on with it.
Wallowing is not the right word for it, but ‘staying in the difficult spot’ until we can feel it, own it, understand it – and then move on seems more sound to me. I’m no expert, just trying to learn from mistakes I’ve make.
My view – make it raw and real before you make it smooth and shiny.