They come instantly from the center of our being – and they are absolutely correct. They sometimes appear to wreck a current set of expectations, but that’s OK. In the long run we won’t regret them – and the ‘more mature’ I become I realize more and more those elements I truly regret are connected to ignoring them …
Especially when new people hit old trigger points can be immediate, powerful and brilliantly clear. Shouldn’t ignore those. Ever.
Like waking a sleeping bear, sometimes all it takes is one poke with the right kind of stick.
Figuring out our day, our next hour, our ‘next thing to do’ is part planning, part opportunity. Feels ADDHD-like. Seems we must (or must we?) accommodate ADDHD-like in others.
Plans and priorities – to each their own. But when we intersect with others, what governs it/us then?
What matters most is what we choose. When something that was ‘next’ on our agenda gets pushed aside (exceptions would be 911-level emergencies) is because our mind, not our heart, recalculated what mattered most, mattered less, mattered least and what mattered not at all.
Priority setting is that stirred, sometimes stirring, mix of urgent v. important, commitments both real and implied, nagging niggling bits and sense of obligation, list making, list ticking, arranging, re-arranging and re-calculating what matters and what is simply information and detail.
When it does, we rarely get cross-threaded. When it doesn’t, we cross ourselves up all the time in ways we sometimes regret – but we shouldn’t. Our regret comes from this notion that we shouldn’t upset others, so often to the detriment of ourselves and our own plans, priorities and pleasures.
This day is awesome.
Nothing dare get in the way of that.
Because I said so.
No need to be in sync. With anyone.
We often create misguided sense of obligation – something which matters to us also matters to someone else, AND, that they might hold it in equivalent high regard. Not the thing, the issue or element of our life involved, but with that ‘sense of obligation’.
And, you can sense it …
Yes. I doesn’t show up in clear unequivocal statement. It shows up in behavior you might not notice, but if you are tuned to hearing, seeing or feeling some understanding, commitment or reciprocal action – then you notice in an instant. Body language, changed behavior – those are always good places to look for clues.
Sometimes, like this morning, one of those old hot-buttons gets pressed, pressed into action.
The issue du-jour is of little consequence. That it so easily triggers a reaction, an emotional connection to other experiences, other times, other people – well, that’s when you know it is one of those.
These signals are not false – ever. The only false-ness is when we fail to recognize them as trigger-points. And when we ignore those, we have only ourselves to hold responsible.
It has been a great weekend, so far.
I’m ticking along in pursuit of ‘getting many things done’ and ‘rehearsing for Tuesday’. I might hit some balls at the range and catch a movie. I’m sure starting my day with coffee and leftover pie has something to do with my disposition.
Decisions made in haste.
written / published from Calgary, AB
morning walk: 11C/52F, gorgeous day shaping up … humidity/sunshine and weekend quiet; Gusta, stimulated by every sniff of the wind is full of energy – as am I. This weekend will have more productivity in it than most, more rest than most and lots of preparation for next week’s events. Tic toc …
If you liked any Musing column, it would mean a lot to me if you would respond. Comments are welcome, so please contribute to the discussion. To reply, use: email@example.com . You can also connect with me on LinkedIn . You can sign up your friends here at MarkMusing.com . This site is updated daily, each column is retained in the archive when the next day's column is loaded ...