Isn’t taking chances on ‘being happier’ far better choices than resignation to ‘probably better to be unhappy (as we know it) than to risk being unhappy (as we fear it)?
We do most of our fighting internally, privately, silently – arguing with ourselves. Anticipation of regret handcuffs many of us.
Stopping, or slowing, pursuit of our wishes, dreams, goals. I don’t think it should, don’t think it necessary – yet it seems so universal.
Whether we already reject this thinking, or embrace it, we do ourselves great service when we reverse our thinking, try living the other way. For a day. A week. Or permanently.
I think we lose a lot in this internal debate. Knowing what might have been – wondering how things would have worked out if we’d done something differently, said something (or not said something), the impossible improbably unlikely ability to predict what might have been is more painful for some people (I think it so) than to actually take a chance, take a step, advance possibility – because dwelling in the mental state of ‘well, things would not have worked out’ is more comfortable. Why?
Typical behavior – not for everyone, but for many, which seems to defy/deny happiness because of the overriding fear of unhappiness.
We don’t do ourselves much good wishing, regretting or fearing. Not to say fear isn’t uncomfortable, that regret isn’t sad or that wishing isn’t empty – because they are. My thinking, if we are going to feel empty, sad or uncomfortable it should be from something we’ve done rather than from something we wish we had done. In my mind, there is no contest. Not even close.