TO ENABLE, OR NOT TO ENABLE – A QUESTION, AND A QUEST
Thursday, August 25, 2022
Is enabling someone a good thing?
If we are talking about the dynamics of co-dependency, alcohol/drug addiction and dysfunctional families, the answer is probably always NO.
Suppose we are talking about removing barriers to give someone some help or allowing employees, children or teammates more latitude to succeed, make choices, take risks, and be self-empowered. In that case, the answer is probably always YES.
When these questions get turned around, referring to what we are enabling (or empowering) in ourselves, it’s trickier and probably a mixture of soft yes and soft no answers.
While it is true that most of us judge ourselves more harshly than we might judge anyone else – we can temper that self-critique, I think, to ask and answer the better questions of, “Am I empowering and enabling myself make the most of my talents, to pursue my goals and dreams without the drag of someone else’s judgement or me?”, or “What am I waiting for?”
Is enabling or being enabled or feeling enabled something someone gives to us?
Or is it something we give to ourselves?
By setting the stage, crafting a plan and plotting a course – we allow ourselves to be enabled, we are enabled and self-empowered, and we don’t need help or endorsement from anyone.