Some days, vacillation between these extremes happens between morning and night. Sometimes from spring until fall brings wintery discontentment. I’m sometimes envious of SAD (seasonal affective disorder) sufferers, because they have a diagnosis, and a treatment.
My sunshine might show up in the middle of my night, my darkness in mid-day sun. On my great days life is blue sky, warm breeze, and limitless euphoria; on worst days, life is pointless worthlessness.
Empty is one part feeling, one part place – when I get there, I tend to stay there awhile. Often, I stay there too long. Gas tanks get low. Fill ‘er up, because empty stops us cold. Moving from full stop is far harder than it looks because our body feels like a stopped train, our mind – that boulder on that track blocking our progress. We really don’t move much until we smash that boulder, worst kind of immovable object is not the obstacle in our way, when that obstacle is our own selves … .
Here’s the trick.
That rock, in our mind – only exists if we will it to exist. We must will it out of our mind.
We are an engine capable or travel wherever we choose, no track required, no train-load of baggage to haul unless we choose to. Empty is a mental thing – not connected to bank account, pipeline of business flowing our way, or content of our belly.
The trick, isn’t really a trick. More a technique: to overlook everything that has gone before as simply arduous preparation.