Life-altering changes happen at odd times, at variable speeds, and with wide-ranging consequences.
The obvious and easiest way to make this point is to contrast an expected birth with an unexpected death.
The birth of a child is life-altering, celebrated and unparalleled in terms of positive emotions. But it’s no surprise – there is a long gestation period, a getting ready for the big reveal, life-altering indeed.
At the other end of the spectrum, the ‘didn’t see that coming’ event of having the world drop on you – the loss of a child. I have three friends who’ve had this happen to them.
As the anniversary of one of those is coming up in a few days, this has been weighing on my mind. Not the ‘how do I celebrate a birthday on the same day that my friends mourn?' – as they do every day – the anniversary of the day their son was ripped from their lives and ripped from all of us.
What can heal a never-ending wound?
What can fill a bottomless pit?
As we celebrate every milestone, or millstone, the anniversary of anyone’s death, we must also celebrate the many memories of those who will never again share in laughter and joy …
While I was polishing this piece last night, I was watching a great talk on YouTube – an interview of Esther Perel talking with Lewis Howes - an hour of discussion, deep thinking on life, love, relationships and being reminded why I enjoy Esther’s talks so much which left me wondering about the incompleteness of my understanding of life, of life-altering, and what I need and want, what I’m looking for and wondering if I’ve never found it, or whether I’ve found it over and over again.
There is no answer for every question; there is no simplicity in life – sometimes simple solutions, but outcomes and feelings are never simple.