ABSOLUTELY RIGHT
Wednesday Dec. 18. 2013
Moving slow. This morning, up early but dawdled, wrestled.
Not fighting with this column.
But doing every other little thing, then returning to the keyboard.
Each half-hour delay produced edits, some dishes washed, a paper read, an email sent, and the dog walked – each time adding more than I took away, then editing so I could add some more until I got it right.
Right for me.
Write for me.
Write for you.
One size – to fit all.
Something that stretches around everything, around everyone, not so much about shape but about what we contain.
So here it is – now – no doubt littered with an average number of typos and grammatical errors, dramatically faux pas-ed – but these thoughts are right, I know they are.
They aren’t for just someone hidden in this crowd of 7,000. They aren’t for those down on their luck any more than for someone who just bought a new truck.
They aren’t for young idealists, mid-life realists or old-fard-club members.
Not for healthy ones or sick ones. Not for just mine but for everybody’s loved ones.
If you like this, live it.
If you love this, share it.
If you don’t agree – read it over and over until you are convinced, because I’m right.
I know I am. I’m not right, as in absolutely right, about very many things but I know I’m absolutely right about this:
I have no quarrel with those who write cheques. With those who stuff cash in a pot – who donate time, effort and money. Please, keep giving, give until it hurts or until you have nothing left. Yes, give, give, give. There are so many who need, indeed, everything you’ve got and everything you could give – and it would never be enough.
This is kind, good, well-meaning and hard to criticize – so I won’t.
This time of year especially, we are bombarded by messages of giving and charity, or helping those who don’t have, lending a hand to those who have little, and opening our hearts to those who have nothing at all.
But I think those of us sending or receiving those messages miss an important point.
A problem isn’t solved with a present.
Condition isn’t cured with gesture.
Lifestyles not altered with well wishes.
And a party/meal and cheer lasts a day. Or maybe two, but won’t sustain all year.
Holiday times and celebrations don’t alter life – and I would contend don’t represent the reality of life either, but rather give us an artificial distraction from life rooted in feelings of sadness for so many who feel they don’t have ‘what everybody has’ and can’t get what everybody wants. It should be no surprise that this season, and the weeks that follow, are heydays for liquor sellers, psychologists and vendors of every trinket known. The answers are not found in merchant solutions or travel or pleasures of flesh or mind.
I believe there is a better answer.
Consider my argument . . .
Life is like a container, one in which we find everything we need.
While many people would agree with that statement, most would imagine a much larger container than mine, and with a lot more in it – things, money, cars, position, comforts, pleasures and travel – that just poppycock, just brain candy.
True, some people seem to need a very large container (ie: large houses, lots of possessions) or territory (ie: land, influence). Some people seek a loud voice (ie: power) to make themselves and their value known. I understand them all. I’ve been them all. When I had them all, they proved far less valuable than I thought. When I lost them all, I craved them more than ever – wanted to claw my way back to having them all again.
Along that path I learned people matter more than things, ideas matter more than things.
Feelings matter more than things.
Values matter more than things.
Everything matters more than things.
I’ve spent far too much time in my life in pursuit of things – but I’m glad I did. My point of view would otherwise be so vastly different, untenable and unhappy.
Everything we need is, indeed, in one container. For me, 5’9” tall and a little too-round in the middle. Every memory of life is contained there – every event, every bruise, every scar of life is there. Every joy. Every toy. Everyone I ever met, right here – close to me. Which is not to say I am without losses or pain. I’ve had my share, but really – I’ve gotten off very lightly in the anguish department compared to others.
You are all you need.
I am all I need.
Whether or not that leaves us lonely, alone or unhappy is choice. I’ve found myself ‘with people’ but extremely unhappy and I’ve had periods of ‘blissful aloneness’. What comforts me most, more than anything, is knowing I don’t have to go out to get it all because I have it all – right here, inside me, everything I could ever need.
This seems to be a day, or moment at least, of extreme clarity for me.
I’m choosing to use it before I lose it – and want to tell you all, that you are you.
You are all you need.
You are your own container.
One size fits all.
Yours fits you.
Mark Kolke
200,464
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: -10C/14F, overcast, fresh white blanket over everything, light snow still falling – footing was a challenge, Gusta wanted to go like she was the whole sled-team, I followed happily and returned rosy-cheeked and inspired . . .
Comments Received:
Lovely! Thank you. For all your musings. Wishing you and yours health & happiness in 2014. Or for the next four minutes at least :-) cheers, GG, Calgary, AB
