I want to write something down quickly before I forget.
And then I forget.
One of the realities of ADHD, on or off medication, is the fleeting life of an idea. They come and go so swiftly and then get bumped out of my in-the-moment mind by the five incoming thoughts, what I just read or heard from everyone else in the conversation.
I need to blurt it out, write it down, interrupt someone speaking – anything to capture it, record it, and give that idea life. I’ve been that impetuous 5-year old all my life.
Otherwise, it is gone, gone, gone until the next time it surfaces, though too often, those recollections of these mislaid thoughts reappearing can evaporate just as briefly.
Being alone in an empty room with a pad, devices, keyboards, and the ability to repeat aloud is only sometimes a help because the invading thoughts keep invading.
And then, the feeling comes – I get it in my frontal lobe, and ‘overall,’ the way a double-shot espresso hits you at 10 PM, warning me to sit up straight, focus, and the barrage abates. It would be easy to describe this as deflecting the excess. It’s more about screening out the craziest and most inane, and the essential ideas come through, get written down/prioritized, and I can return to my focus and commitment to what I am doing until I am done.