But waited till daylight. Since there had been heavy snowfall overnight, I wanted to be sure of my footing. I abruptly detected our dump was far deeper than it first appeared.
Gusta would have loved it …
Knee-deep where wind formed drifts, mid-calf everywhere else, I prudently settled on a short walk.
A great day then, to hunker down at home and stay off the roads. In fact, the only easy walking was down the middle of the road, but that’s a dangerous activity.
Being knee-deep in many things, snowed-in/snowed-under or just a bit overwhelmed by reality of late – not my intention to have a pity-party day, but being home-bound yesterday, I spent more time pondering than I usually make time for.
I’ve spent time lately dissecting past adventures and misadventures – realizing that some things I thought were a result of diligent planning were really more accidental good fortune than a product of any brilliance on my part. Doubtless, I was prepared/experienced to take advantage of situations, but many were being in the right place at the right time. I have some creative and perhaps bold initiatives sitting in the drawer, and I realize that’s no place for those.
Life, like walking in the middle of the road, is a false-safety. It’s dangerous. Every day we risk that life won’t defeat us – take chances we’ll triumphantly make ourselves stronger for the next tomorrow and for the next one after that.
The weather is continually changing – and I must change too, like a sailor adjusting sails to capture the wind, need to fill my sails with powerful gusts of inspiration, juggle alternatives, throw mud at the wall to see what might stick.
Recasting directions radically at any age or stage of life is easy to muse about yet complicated. Still, people do life-altering things every day, and often against their will. My ruminations tilt more toward willful choices, and it’s an ongoing self-arm-wrestle.
Inarguably alternatives, opportunities, seesawing, and problems weigh heavily on my mind, but giving up or denial of my reality are not options I will consider.
There is a way through every bruising circumstance. In fact, the easy walking down the middle of the road is frequently safe but rarely exciting. Middle of the road is not for me, but neither is the ditch. I have a lot on my mind, and I want to be sure of my footing.