The art or science of connection with people doesn’t start with handshake, hug or high-five.
Doesn’t start with a smile, a call or an e-mail.
Connection starts inside our own head.
How could we possibly relate to someone, empathize with their life, their trouble-du-jour, their art, their science, their joys or their pains if we are not first – in our own head, in tune with something inside that rings of clarity over disparity, that makes difficulties endurable and loving others worthwhile?
Life has moments of great revelation. Sometimes in others, or for others, but never as great as when we notice a big shift inside ourselves – and say WOW to it. Not to anyone else, because nobody knows. Just our own little private reason for smiling, for noticing the order of things, the sweet intersection of timing and ideas, chance and change …
In traffic, or meeting people, we understand this concept – avoiding collisions, crashes and oncoming dangers – that is a good thing.
Intersection of ideas, the debate in our own head, is about watching collisions in slo-mo, admiring or fleeing from the event. No fenders to fix or o’ffences to mend, just our own ideas of self, direction and ideas to reconcile the pile of oops, change and OMG moments.
When that load is heavy, we notice. We groan under its weight, or whine for attention – I don’t think we are much different from one another in that. But what about load-lightening, feeling looser – no tightening, no belly-angst, no pack on our back, no load to haul?
Location, location, location … in our head, in our head, in our head.
P.S.: to clarify yesterday’s column – I don’t hate cats or women who own them. Just, given a choice, I stray from cats to dogs. Given a choice I avoid things I’m not keen on. But, would I let a pet choice get in the way of great love? Not a chance …
column written/ published from Calgary, AB
morning walk: -11C/13F, light dusting of snow is both fresh/beautiful and traction-challenging; we walked very early (5AM), very quiet, Gusta unsuccessfully tracking a schizoid rabbit trail …
Oh well, PL, Calgary, AB … p.s. have a Bengal named Auggie.
Good Morning Mark, I am an animal person. We have had loving dogs in the past but our hearts still ache with the big hole that is left, perhaps one day we will add to our family again. We have had cats for all the 25 years that we have been living in the rural area. The cats come to us, uncaring people dump them in the country. Our family of animals consist of 6 cats that are free to come in & out of the house during the day time, do a great job of keeping the rodents out there & NOT in here & are wonderful little blankets. Yes their fur can be plentiful but we can tolerate it. We also have a duck that we have had since he was hatched 12.5 years ago. He resides in his bachelor pad & every day is a new day for him. Can't say I'm a cat fancier, just a fancier of all the beasts out there. Have a great day, MC, Bottrel, AB
I am a tad surprised at the boundaries you have placed around yourself. Having had both cats and dogs and both at the same time I have learned that there are benefits to both species. Unless, of course, one is allergic to one or the other. Being in year two of a fulfilling relationship with a man that did not fit into my ideal picture of the perfect man for me, I am glad that I set aside those boundaries I had lived within previously. Take some time to think about this declaration, please. GW, Bon Wier, Tx.