Do we pause or ponder long enough, think deeply enough – to know? Information floods, blurs our vision. From first morning click to last switch-off at night, life’s train zooms by while we stand on the platform deciding whether or not to get aboard. Meaningful, or merely interesting? How deep do we need to dig before we know? About anything, about anyone, really?
This morning, perusing morning inflow of news mingled with mush – found diversions, took mental excursions, and back again, exploring the whole world in under ten minutes …
Still, three things override everything. Despite diversions, most of which will never enter my mind again … but like a little sugar-spike from sweet fruit. Nice. Pleasant. Not enduring.
I’m wresting with a condo board taking me to court for removal of my dog (more about that another day) which has caused me to have to hire a lawyer. Hey, my dog has a lawyer! And a fascinating new client challenge (first site-meeting this morning) and more than all other things, my daughter’s birthday today.
Krista is 36 today. She’s out of touch. She wants it that way – so I struggle with my desire to reach out to her vis-à-vis that such action will likely, again, be counterproductive and won’t heal much – more likely to seal what appears to be my fate … but still, I need to shout out to the world ‘happy birthday’ to a beautiful human I helped create. I could whine. I have before. I could listen, and will, if she’ll let me. But phone sits silent. And my door is open. Be safe. Be happy. I love you.
written / published from Calgary, AB
morning walk: -1C/30F, calm and mild, traffic noise is almost like music – not unpleasant, not recognizable, like background in a movie – as Gusta romps and I follow, unsure who is leading or following …