AND ALL THOSE Eff-words
Friday, February 17, 2023
Friday is Friday; no way to fix that.
But who wants to?
Friday isn’t broken – the T.G.I.F. folks are at both ends of the spectrum; those who can’t wait for the week to be over, balanced with those who can’t wait for their weekend to arrive … along with those who dread the weekend as much as the week. And some of us would take an eight-day workweek if we could get one …
So, which effs need a fix?
There is no way to fix something that is broken.
That sounds absurd – because we can fix or replace just about everything. If it fails, we can fix it, get the upgrade, or return it for a different model, type, or size.
Sure, if it’s a thing, we are fixing. But what happens when we are trying to fix something we did that cannot be undone, can’t be erased by an apology or a fading memory?
Because among all things we forget, those are things that never go away unless we work at it – there isn’t a handbook or user’s manual for people …
Forgiving and forgetting are convenient effing words f-words, but they don’t say the unsaid or explain the explanations never given.
I am sorry.
We are sorry.
We all are sorry for something.
That I admit that to a crowd is easy because it masks my saying that to one or two people I’m talking to indirectly …
We all hurt people, and others hurt us – and with strangers, that usually doesn’t matter much or get talked about; it’s ignored, not noticed at all, or it’s trivial. If a stranger makes a rude gesture in traffic or parks like an idiot in the supermarket parking lot, it’s a momentary annoyance. When someone deliberately treats us badly, or we say something unkind, it often goes by unspoken but never unnoticed. Those tiny bits are tiny cuts and bruises that don’t show physically – we aren’t hurt and don’t look like we’ve been beaten upon, but they accumulate.
Like layers of pearl, the kind oysters coat a grain of sand; you can’t undo anything.
But we can stop.
We can ‘not do it again’; we can change what we do today or next.
That may not fix anything, undo anything, or turn that pearl back into a grain of sand.
But stopping matters. Stopping doesn’t seem like enough. It doesn’t fix anything, but it’s a conscious step that changes us.
It’s not a tiny step; it’s a huge one.
It must be because we all struggle with taking it …
Fair, factual, and familiar failings can turn into positives – fantastic, fearless, flexible, formidable, functional, fun, fondness, feeling, and friendship.
Are you working on your effing eff words?
How is it going?
Reader feedback:
PROBLEM-SOLVING 101
I hit my darkest hours last summer and fall, despite having "done everything right." Still climbing out of that hole and have discovered that option B includes option A... give up things that do not work for me... gently, respectfully and firmly. The result? Life has never been better, and my darkest has helped me manifest a golden dawn. Cheesy but true, JB, Calgary, AB
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