Let your mind wander a bit – let your eyes wander around your surroundings a little, look out the window.
Close your eyes.
Let your mind go outside, go wherever you want to be doing whatever you would love to do that gives you the most pleasure. Don’t tell anyone, don’t write it down.
Just let your mind stay there a while. Keep your eyes closed. Tell yourself why that place, that feeling, and that experience mean so much to you. Is it just a little dopamine surge you get at that time, at that place, or is it deeper than pure pleasure?
Of 10,000 people, I expect there are more than 9,990 answers to that setup.
Everyone has their own mental place of pleasure and peace. We need it for balance, we need it when we are riding high, and we need it most of all when we are feeling blue when we are low.
Down in the dregs of our dumps is when we need this most. Fortunately, it costs no money and takes very little time investment. I can do it for a minute or an hour.
If we wait around for someone or some circumstance to rescue us from a problem, dig us out of a hole, or know when we want a celebration buddy, we’ll be waiting a long time.
If we need someone, we have to ask. The more specific, the better – tell someone what you want, when you want it, why you want it, and why you want/need it from someone else.
But if we need a feeling, we don’t need permission – we don’t need anyone but ourselves. A minute. An hour. A lifetime. We lead a secret life, not in secrecy per se, but we alone know our thoughts, wants, and needs. While we might need or want to share those with someone else, we can – but how much time would it take, and how likely would they be to see things ‘just as we see them,’ and do we have that time to waste?
What we need is inside. We can open up or close up, but either way, we need to explore and celebrate what is inside. Nobody else can. Nobody else will. Sure, you might explain how much someone cares and why you should rely on them for this. Nice. Good for you. But do they really know you, could you ever be that important to them, and if you were, wouldn’t they be shortchanging themselves?