LONG TERM MEMORY
Sunday, February 26, 2023
Tempus edax rerum translates as: time that devours all things …
How does it devour anything?
It seems like only yesterday – sometimes we say that out loud in conversation, but often I say it under my breath when I look at my life and times.
I don’t attribute this to aging as much as I do to having aged – because the only way to have the thought from that remembered yesterday is to have lived that experience.
Or to relive it, like a flickering old black-and-white movie playing in our heads.
At the time, it was what we were doing, what we promised to do, what was witnessed by others, and it may have been recorded, photographed, or memorialized in signed and dated documents. Some, but few, were observed when they were happening as ‘this is something we’ll remember decades from now,’ – but the memory etched in the brain is different for everyone.
I remember an event, things leading up to it, leading away from it – and many of the people connected to an event. Others who were there will have similar imprints of the memory or occasion. On a scale of one to ten in importance to their life, I expect my memory, compared to others, would vary widely. Some good, some bad, some “I don’t remember that at all.”
As for memories from events a month later or on the anniversary of a memorable event, the best we might muster is a weak ‘I have no recollection,’ so in a case like that, time ate the whole thing.
Think about it for a minute – think about someone important in your life way back when who is still around and ask, are they important in your life now? Then think about others were there, way back when, and ask – where are they now? And do they have any recollection similar to mine?
As I wrote this yesterday, I was thinking about something that happened on this date a long time ago. It was an important day for me and most of the others there and less significant for some who were guests by obligation.
As I recall who was there, I don’t need to look for old photos – I remember many of those who were there. Many of them have passed away from old age, and some whose lives were cut short by other causes. Those who were there were mostly my age then, so they would be my age now or gone. So many I didn’t know very well or at all, so I have no idea where they are or if they have memories of that event.
Four buddies of mine were there, one co-worker, and three from school days – a distinct memory of their company, can’t be erased. Two I’ve lost track of; we grew apart long ago and ceased to be in touch. Another I’d lost track of died about ten years ago. The fourth, I reconnected with a few years ago – his life changed dramatically after a spinal cord injury, and he soldiers on from a wheelchair with plenty of help. And his memory, if jogged, might recall this day – but I think he might remember many February ski days together in bitterly cold weather. I plan to call him today, or at least write some thoughts like these – we were very good friends, but like most friends we had life changes, moves, families, careers that caused us to cross paths too infrequently. It was always nice to catch up over a lunch or phone call, but then it be over and we’d leave to make new memories with other people.
My recollections of that day are strong, pleasant in recalling the collective mood of that day, sad in terms of where the journey after that day unfolded. Recollections, second-guessing ourselves, prove to have little currency beyond our own head. For me, it’s not melancholy, but stark memories of how much my life took direction from and later experienced consequences (many good ones/many troubled ones) from that day.
It meant more, in theory than in actuality – but it could have, perhaps should have, meant much more. I was a co-conspirator in a memorable event. It could have taken place differently, involving different players, in a different place. The etched memories would be different ones, but they would be etched.
Do you remember the day when you _______________ ? Pick something significant in your memory bank from a time further back than ten years – the date doesn’t matter, only that it was an event the matters to you and remains vivid in your recollection. Do you remember the faces of everyone who was there? Or anyone?
Does your memory cause you to smile, or frown, or sob?
And about the others who were there – where are they now?
Do you stay in touch, do they share your view of that time and place, or did time devours all things …