I don’t feel shame at this time about anything generally – but there have been times of embarrassment about things in my life, and shameful behavior. Most of that was during my conveniently blurry drinking years …
I recently encountered someone, quite brave and proud of his accomplishments – yet incredibly ashamed of something. Something which he openly shared, but later admitted his own grown children did not know, and he didn’t want them to know. I suspect there are others he doesn’t want knowing either – probably his reason for reacting so strongly, in that moment, on that day.
Understanding shame is something we can all learn more about.
It is everywhere – often resting deep within people hell-bent on not revealing it, to some degree in everyone. For some, it is a weight holding them back; for some, it is a mountain they can never climb. It alters who we are because we must show our distorted self to the world to hide what we wish to keep from view
I got wondering: how common is that?
Are those who feel shame rare, or are those who don’t feel shame the rare ones? It strikes me this might be an excellent subject for another Brene Brown book, but she only studies and writes about women. As she mentioned in one of her TED talks, this is a different kettle of fish for men.
Mark, Have you heard this quote from John Adams? “I must study politics and war, that our sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, and naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry and porcelain.” After reading your letter, I’m wondering about the great potential and possibility of the technologies at our fingertips. How might we use them to connect and grow? Well...we’ve got our newsletters of course!;) What else can we create to build our hearts, minds, and souls?, GB, Waukesha, WI