YOU ARE HERE - #METOO
Thursday, February 9, 2023
Have you been on an unfamiliar road or hiking a trail, when you come upon a sign that read (usually text under a star or arrow),
“YOU ARE HERE,” and you still wondered where you were?
And the next day, still lost, you’re left to wonder, “Where is here?”
On a clear day when you have your bearings, some sense of direction – knowing where you want to go, knowing the route you’ll take, and most importantly, knowing how to tell when you’ve arrived so you can cheer,
“Yay, we’re here!”
Until then, we're like kids asking hopefully,
“Are we there yet?”
Whether or not we can find a map with both hands or whether our moral compass is correctly calibrated - knowing where we are and where we are going is a common conundrum.
Adding insult to injury in the world of DIY-think, self-help books and websites and the lizard brain on our shoulder saying,
“C’mon, what do you mean you feel uncertain, directionless, stressed and pressured by more than you can handle?”
The lizard adds,
“Join the club, you aren’t alone, not even remotely rare.”
It feels lonely, we’re doing it alone and it feels nobody knows, nobody cares, nobody sees, and nobody has a flashlight to guide us out of this darkness starkness.
When we think our problem(s) are unique, that nobody ever had them before, or could solve them – let alone get through the week, pause.
Take that deep breath.
Realize you aren't alone.
It is absolutely the right time to use this hashtag:
#metoo
You see, we have yet to arrive, there is no map with a star or arrow, and our birth certificate doesn’t have a fine-print guarantee of anything on its back.
Tomorrow, we’ll arrive somewhere else – down the block, around a corner, or maybe just one day further along our path. We might be at Kamloops, or all the way to Chilliwack but we’re still far from dipping our toes in the Pacific. We might closer to happy, or further away.
Winston Churchill had magic words for this,
“When you feel like you’re going through hell, keep going!”
Until we drop, this daily grind is, in all ways, always our journey – and seems to never be our destination.
We aren’t designed for languishing lazily at some place we call the livin’ end.
Living is moving, living is doing, there is no other purpose to it, so we keep doing what humans do. We’re doing it better than ever …
I know, let’s get back to our realty.
Today, we have arrived at this point in life with a sense of purpose, clarity and unlimited freedom of choice we wish we’d had long ago. It doesn’t look at all like what we thought it should be when we were young.
Sometimes it doesn’t look the same as it did as recently as last year.
We’ve each been leading our busy lives, we weren’t prepared when we had the time, and now it seems we still don’t have the time.
Why is that?
Weren’t we rushing through every step, stage, stepping stone, career path, ladder to success, bridge to cross or tall building to leap every day so that one day would come, when we could have some time to pause, rest, and restore?
Maybe.
Or, maybe all that rushing, time-saving, developing our skills was for a different purpose – not one of being ready to slow down to do less, but one of being fully prepared to do more. To do different. To do things we never dreamt with energy we never thought we’d have, let alone have ‘at this age’!
We know we can do herculean tasks and overcome obstacles when something is urgent, personal, and takes 100% of our focus. Those unwanted events we rise to it – our instincts to protect our children, save someone from peril, and pitch to volunteer when there is a local emergency or a devastating earthquake or war someone.
Nobody wants difficulties, pain, or exhaustion – but somehow we summon strength, courage and determination to do those herculean tasks every day.
What if it’s not an emergency – instead, something essential to us – something we must do?
Nobody is in danger except ourselves. Without that extraordinary effort, our dream will wither, and our potential for ‘that great idea or vision’ will sputter and atrophy in our brain before even reaching the starting line or the spot on the map, the journey we envision with a star or arrow that says,
“You are here!”
It’s not physics or anatomy – we can do anything. Look around; you’ll see countless people carrying massive loads in life, doing it on a shoestring, and not complaining.
If they can do it, I can do it.
You can do it too.
If we can unlock our potential to be good for others, we must first open it up to being good for ourselves.
Some of that is the self-critique – and by now, we’ve had enough of that to gag every lizard brain into submission. We all seem to know how to do that very well - but don't we need to balance that with a fair assessment of how bloody great we are?
Let’s accentuate our positive, shall we?
We are wisdom-prepared and wizened now.
Our energy/motivation/urgency recipe is ready, but I have a two-part problem with mine; maybe you do too.
Others see me/us as some hybrid of an old dog, no new tricks, over-the-hill, grumpy or curmudgeonly, slow to adapt to the latest cool thing, lacking youthful energy and zeal – either out to pasture or needing to be shipped there …
Is that real, or is my fearful inside voice talking – is that damned lizard again?
I had an example recently (I’ll spare you the minutiae and spare the ‘lacking enthusiasm’ parties for their failure to act or commit) where taking control of something became essential, because nobody would and because an opportunity would have been lost. Thanks to their eventual acquiescence, whether because they didn’t want to get in my way, didn’t see the value/importance of something, or didn’t invest the time/energy to appreciate it, they/we could pursue something worthy.
It’s not the first time I’ve seen this, and there is always the risk that extraordinary efforts fail to yield results in the short term or ever, but there is a magical secret by-product of this.
People see that you are someone who takes hard things on, takes risks, works without permission or direction from others, has good instincts and acts when others don’t or won’t.
Being seen as that kind of person in any job, organization, or community stands out; someone who shows up, can stand the heat and accept lumps, bumps and derailments. It’s not about being seen as a winner, hero, or shaker/mover; it’s being seen as innovative, reliable, gutsy, determined, and committed.
It’s true, busy people get called upon to do more, not because they are easy suckers or fools, but because they can be counted on to do what others shy away from.
The second and much more profound part of this is the silent knowing in our minds that we are that brand of person. I think it’s 1% environmental and 99% genetic – work ethic attached to a backbone so we don’t fall over when we get tired.
It doesn’t give us that backbone; it reminds us we have one.
It doesn’t prove we can make miraculous things happen by doing; it reminds us that miraculous things can be accomplished by people who believe in miraculous things. And you do.
You ARE here.