I don’t need to wonder how that would feel, exasperated, desperate – seeing nowhere to go, nowhere to look, no way out – I’ve been in that space, lived in that place. Came through, got through. Thrived. Survived. Grateful every day, as are many who work through difficulties will tell you.
Many to thank. Those who helped directly.
And those who didn’t.
Help came from people who did nothing, saw nothing, knew nothing. Completely unaware – not that they didn’t care, or couldn’t care. They didn’t know.
Did that help?
Wasn’t a secret sauce thing – a treating me normally thing. Didn’t facilitate my hiding – but rather, didn’t force me to be obvious. In plain sight, not in someone’s spotlight, not a deer in their headlights – they were there. Not imposing, not knowing, but I knew they were …
Went about my business as if nothing was wrong. Lots was. I knew that, but I wasn’t in anyone else’s face about it, or they in mine. Not stoic or stupid. But private. Left alone.
Would it have been better if someone insightful reached out to me, gave me a hand or back-pat or a lift? Sure, nice, but absence of that wasn’t horror. It was just quiet. And private.
I’ve encountered several people recently who are really taking life, current circumstances of tough times on the chin. Hitting them hard. Difficult to get through their days, seeing no path to that hill, the one that follows this valley which seems to continue descending. No end in sight. Not yet.
Do we shine a light on it, on them? Or shine it away, letting them have that peace, that anonymity, that privacy of their own deliberations? Both. All. We probably help most when we aren’t helping at all, because our door is open, our welcome mat is out …
Is your door open, your welcome mat out?
written / published from Calgary, AB
morning walk: 1C/33F, ahhh … light overcast, slushy streets and snow-soft for making snowballs! Fantastic sprint through the soft stuff, Gusta’s all mucky but she doesn’t care
Mark.... Still catch you about every day. Enjoy each of those visits. Our mutual friend, JV in Toronto, got this North Carolinian started as a reader. Thank you for the sagacity and wit. Just wanted you to know I'm somewhere out here and was thinking of you. All the best, RTB, South Carolina
Good morning Mark. You don’t know me but, I read your blog every morning at work before I start my day. After reading your blog the last 2 mornings I really feel inspired to follow my dream, no matter what – give it a try – “why not” get rid of the fear, etc…………………….what do I have to loose, anyway. “In the end, we lose it all, leave it all…………… Just want to say THANKS!! for the inspiration, NJ, Calgary, AB … P.S.: My mother passed away in September and that was life changing to me.