KEY STROKES
Saturday, January 14, 2023
Most mornings, one word or one sentence – something prompts me. That might be something I read, saw, thought that flew in through the proverbial opened window, or like turning the can opener crank. With each turn, each jerky movement, a little bit of the liquid spills out, so I turn more slowly and steady my hand so I don’t lose it before the lid is off. Not strokes of genius or blandness – a few words triggered by something.
I start my thought/writing process that way most mornings, with a few keystrokes, and soon the can is opened …
My problem is not finding prompts, encountering them in my head as I walk a trail or familiar neighbourhood sidewalk, but from room to room, somethings – those fleeting thoughts that buzz and flit like fruit flies in my ADHD junction box head. Until my meds kick in, stemming the flow perhaps but better stated, I would say I get the focus to hone in on and stay on a line of thought long enough to give that subject appropriate time and concentration until done with that while ignoring all other distractions. That keeps me on task, steady in my seat without the urge to rush off in 57 varieties of directions.
Long-time readers of this column will have noticed a change since July – my columns have gotten longer, dealt with subjects more thoroughly, and I believe the writing has improved. I’m not sure if the first drafts are better, but the time/focus on polishing has made a difference. To temper that, to some degree, I’ve been trying to find a balance between older and newer; not so much a matter of style or decision, but a matter of finding a better balance for me that is comfortable with what spilled onto the page that day vis-à-vis holding something back.
Writing better and more succinctly are writing craft skills. That’s good, but that’s not what I write about and why I write. I get plenty of practice communicating – in writing, speaking, meetings and discussion to get the point across when work requires that focus. I’ve been doing variations on that theme since I was in my early 20s, but without the focus I have today, a body of work and a lived experience to draw from my 71 years and nearly twenty years of writing daily thoughts.
Sitting in my mini-writing room/closet yesterday (Thursday) was no different than most mornings – the obligatory daily routine of personal care, exercise, breakfast, dressing and readying myself for the trip to the office (5:00ish to 7:00ish), allowing time to write this substantially by 8:00 AM. Most days, I will return to it later to finish/polish it before loading it for tomorrow’s email distribution. Except, some days, I’ll write an hour longer to push those ideas around in my head; somedays, I’ll scrap the column entirely and start over (that’s harder to do in the evening when I’m feeling wholly bagged from a full day and my meds have worn off!).
And then I ‘build the format’ for the next day, as I have for nearly twenty years. Most days, I’ll add something from my ‘storage basket’ of partially started columns (they seem to languish there, and I discard the ones that languish and never come to life ), or sometimes simply a word prmpt – a suggestion to self that might serve to inspire me the following day. It might be one of those fruit-fly buzzing ideas, something I read, or from a pile of notes and clippings that seem to accumulate on this writing table …
So what makes the ideal column start into the perfect piece?
I don’t have a definition for that – from what I want to publish to my audience of readers vis-à-vis what I feel the need to express.
In recent months that audience is down – from 4,000ish to around 3,800; I’m not sure if that’s a marketing shortcoming on my part, natural attrition, or a reaction by some that my longer piece tendencies of late aren’t their wish. Probably a mix of those.
Would I like the Musing audience to grow? Of course, who doesn’t want that?
But that’s not why I write. This began on the 1st day of spring nearly 20 years ago, venting some thoughts from my walk that morning shared with six others – so the seven is currently 3,800.
The audience numbers would grow if I spent a lot of time marketing Musings in print/book form, on social media platforms, or on writing platforms. That would be nice but isn’t essential. If I get down to an audience of six, it may be time to rethink my strategy.
As I head toward spring, I’m mulling one thought about the future of Musings, which is the need to keep the website with archives of past columns and other work (poetry, short stories) in addition to the email distribution of columns (which has an archive feature). Otherwise, I plan to keep doing what I’ve been doing and be happy to distribute it to readers who want to see it.
This annual navel-gaze of mine is cathartic but not dramatic. The most significant shift, one my mentors advised me against, was after the initial spring and summer – I’d been harvesting replies but not publishing them; at that point, I shared a PDF file with readers of the accumulated six months of columns including the responses. My mentors suggested feedback from readers would decline, which happened. As they appropriately counselled me, people are less forthcoming with feedback and comments if they know those comments will be published.
I did not follow their recommendation because I wanted to honour those who wrote by sharing their feedback. It certainly wouldn’t have been ethical to save them for some later book publication (I’ve yet to hit upon a ‘how to do that’ I am comfortable with … but I continue to think about that. After all, I have twenty years of material saved and available. There is much to mine there, but one thought keeps creeping into my head each time I ponder that: Do I want to publish a book about my daily ramblings over twenty years that includes all that early work – some of it powerful, but the writing was far weaker than today – less craft, more stream of consciousness; less polish, more grit. And now I must leave this keyboard to head to the office where much work of the day waits for me.
I’ll make my own decision, of course, but I would love to have some feedback from readers – especially from those who rarely or never write; what do you want:
- Is the email distribution how you want me to continue, or would you like to see the duplication and archives on the website continue also?
- Are there other places you think I should share this column daily? Where?
- What do you like most about Musings?
- What do you like least about Musings?
- Long columns, short columns, a mix – what works best for you to receive/read first thing every morning?
I appreciate you reading all of this; I honestly do – and I am grateful for anyone who takes a few moments to reply, giving me your thoughts, so please do.