HOME OWNER SHIP
Thursday, January 5, 2023
Best-laid plans don’t come with best-before dates or a warranty on life expectancy.
When this building was new (2000), we bought this unit. Eight years ago, after my dad died, I moved in temporarily while I sorted out my dad’s affairs.
I quickly came to love the privacy/security, lock-n-leave convenience of condo living, underground parking, and location made sense. Moving again so soon just to move made no sense, so my temporarily became ‘this is home’ with ease …
Somewhat like a village – many people know a lot of their neighbours – a sense of community and an active social club. And each year our bike storage space becomes more crowded, so newcomers seem to be more active …
For most older residents, this is a place between, from where they were last to where they are going next. Many depart by ambulance and don’t return – some to assisted living arrangements or nursing homes, and others die.
Mostly, I loved the quiet and simplicity. I was then and still am among the youngsters here, with many residents in their 80s and 90s.
Each year a few people move on – some to their final resting place, some to other places – and most of my neighbours I don’t know much beyond a hello-nod or “high neighbour” greeting, much like you might live on a street where you know some by sight, some by name, and some by little more than a wave. My ‘circle’ don’t live here, so my connections have been few.
But when one of those ‘better connections’ leaves, it’s not without an impact.
Case in point: Gord, Gordon – he died a couple of weeks ago at 93. I last chatted with him in passing during the week before he died. We laughed, caught up with each other, and joked about some of life’s absurdities – that gentle laugh of his, a gentle man, to be sure. His memorial is tomorrow. His close friends and family will remember him warmly for a long time, as will I.
I’ve been told the night he became ill, he was rushed to hospital where he later died; earlier, he’d had dinner and conversations with neighbours as he usually did. I’m so happy about that. He lived a long and good life; he was kind and gentle – fantastic that such a good man did not experience and lengthy, painful departure.
Life expectancy is about length, and we all understand that, but the other view is our expectancy of life – what we want to get out of it, even though nobody gets out of it alive or needs luggage or a wallet when they go. Gord reminded me in many ways of my dad – not that they were alike or looked alike, but they had a similar warmth and kindness about them and how they treated others.
I’m not feeling that gentle yet, so maybe I’ve got a long way to go and also have much yet to learn.
Many people explain their experience with home ownership is not so much that you own your home, but that it owns you – maintenance, costs, lack of flexibility, etc.
Many people move because their needs change and their home won’t.
For all but the homeless and displaced, home is a state of mind as well as a place – and I wish everybody lived in a place where you might meet a man like Gordon Pratt.
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