PATH TO UP
… feeling un-waited
Friday July 11, 2014
Been down?
Being down, feeling down, and out – we could start ‘down & outers’ club, sharing downs on our path to up.
Being down and out means so much doubt, fear and uncertainty shrouds our days, our nights, our dreams and our relationships.
From these burdens, there is a path out, a way out. Mine isn’t everyone’s, but I believe there is a way for everyone.
Trials, errors, failures, misjudgments – out the other side – emerging is real, possible.
Problems, issues, challenges – still my reality. I began writing mine down – but it felt like whining.
“Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health” – Carl Jung
Is that true for women?
My troubles have been many if I count debts, failures, mistakes and blunders – so many, too many to count – and when I’ve stared at them all, that whole hole is deep and dark and wide.
There is magic in feeling difference, knowing difference, recognizing that tipping point has been past. My spirits have been buoyant for many years. Weight of difficulties often pushed down on shoulders to the point of immobilizing. That felt like walking in water wearing clothes, or wearing a heavy winter coat on hot days. We withstand these difficulties, because we can, we have to.
There are two things we don’t comprehend.
First, we believe everyone knows. Or notices. They don’t.
Second, we feel that weight of it, embarrassment of it, shame of it … won’t ever go away. It does. It lifts off as if ten water logged overcoats vaporized.
Unburdening doesn’t change morning bath-scale read-outs, but I know I’m un-weighted.
Un-waited too.
Just walking around feels good again.
Mark Kolke
196,644
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: 11C / 51F, that ball or gold through the haze this morning could just as easily have been a sunset – gorgeous. Gusta was disappointed this morning, as we took that route for the 3rd straight day, but no rabbit . . .
