LOOKING BEHIND THE MASQUE
Sunday, July 11, 2021
Maybe I’ve been looking for love in all the flawed places …
The hope of every lonely man in search of a great woman (I dipped my toe back into Match.com gene-pool for a month of trying again) is to have her find him when he didn’t even know he was lost – and then to relax into a happy accident like it was a new down-filled pillow of possibility. Some recent conversations have felt one-part interview (hard to tell who was interviewing whom) and one-part pillow shopping. I suppose there is as much tension/stress in a dynamic relationship as there is the absence of tension in lonelyville*, and the challenge is to find balance or at least pleasant frequent company.
There is no way of knowing the flaws, shortcomings, and personality quirks of anyone we meet. The older we get, it doesn’t seem to get any simpler than that.
It’s exhausting. I’ve read and re-read the local profiles on match.com – too many I’ve seen before who probably aren’t interested in me either because they’ve seen me before too.
Or is it that the silence is safer?
It seems that the supply doesn’t dwindle past a certain age, but appearances do change – the truth being, as we get older, most of us don’t start looking better or younger. For those who lie about their age and include recent close-up photos, they ain’t foolin’ anyone.
It’s been hard to prospect for romance during a pandemic – and even if I did talk to someone nice-sounding, who knows what resides behind their mask?
I saw someone recently in the grocery store who bore a striking resemblance to an ex-girlfriend. OK, it looked like she’d put on a bit of weight, but not enough to discourage me – so I said, “Is that you Cathy?” only to learn very quickly, her mask then pulled down, that there was no similarity at all to the face or the voice. Or, given the reaction I got, not an appealing personality …
Maybe I should just start talking to masked women in the grocery store – ignore the looks and go for the great voice. When you think about it, we all lose our looks, but it’s about personalities, perseverance, and ‘the voice’ that we need.
But alas, the masks are coming off now, so we can assess people at ‘face value’ once again as if that actually indicates anything about qualities. It does say something important in terms of attraction, but we all know that’s a superficial factor on its own, that matters little if there is little of value behind the pretty smile or tidy physique …
I’m used to my life, my routine, my work, my play, my writing, my place in the world – but who is happy with that for the long term when company and laughter and hand/glove fit is so important?
What do I want?
What is behind the masquerade?
Someone who gets me, someone I appreciate on many levels too, and she can wear a mask when needed. And she should have a great smile too.
And I checked – today is world population day, we are growing by 83 million a year, so there must be at least one woman out there for me!
And, it’s blueberry muffin day, free Slurpee day and Mojito day – so eat up, drink up,