MUSINGS and other writing by Mark Kolke

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ONE DAY PAUSE
 
Wednesday, July 27, 2022
 
 
Who we pair up with is something too many of us get wrong the first time, the second time, and the third ~ well, you get the picture. And I lost count.
As we age, life’s stages and chapters change our expectations.

Our needs change too.

It’s not about slowing down as much as not being in a hurry.

It’s not the difference between a sprint and a marathon, it’s about being happy being still.

Perspectives are very different looking backward through youth’s proverbial telescope; we never find what we were looking for, and if we are lucky, what we needed, came looking for and found us.

I’ve been described as a fool, romantic fool, and stubborn fool – each has been true from time to time.

While giving up was always an option, it was just not one I wanted to consider.

We could probably all pair up with anyone if necessary or stay with the wrong person if it appeared we had no other options. Still, many say they would rather be alone than be with someone they don’t truly want to be with, and I’ve endorsed that view.

And I still do, but being alone by default was not something I wanted to accept. It was being ‘one-part stubborn fool’ and ‘one-part believer’, and recognizing that changes in me and how I am in the world were also required. But you see, I’d come close before, close to magic, which eluded me, but I never lost my faith that perseverance and possibly patience were required.

I expect that’s pretty universal. I recall doing a single for many years since my 2nd divorce, with some interesting intermittent connections, but not the pairing kind. I met intriguing women, weird ones too, but few past connections endure.

I’m glad I didn’t give up.

We found each other, or rather she found me, and despite tripping over each other with technology before we talked/met/began, we’ve not been out of touch since. Ours is a nice story; without thundering drama or multiple common hobbies, it’s not that kind of thing. Today, one year after that first meeting.

Today we’re both taking a day away from work in the middle of the week for a short out-of-town road trip. It’s likely to be a great day, with only nature and country road traffic in our field of view.
 
Reader feedback:
 
THESE PRINCIPLES ARE UBIQUITOUS 
Your story made me smile today.  All my young life my Dad used to say “If you’re going to stand around waiting for a ship to come in, maybe Alberta’s bald headed prairie isn’t the best place to stand.”, GB, Calgary, AB
 

 


 
 

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