There is no point, if one is up in the middle of the night ...
If one cannot express on paper, canvas – whatever one carves expression upon, than to spill this, then look at it again when morning comes.
It will have shape, life and meaning.
Like waking from turbulent dreams without wasting time or effort on sleep which offered no rest.
Describing – whether how we make a sandwich, repair problems or explore another person – can’t be done in one medium alone.
Collage or collision, creativity and/or pain, art, expression of positive emotion – without time to explain ourselves.
With no need to …
It is for me.
Words, adequate for some things, but not for painting a pictures.
Paint and canvas show still life, landscape, or action – but silently.
Music lifts mood, changes or inspires – but that picture painted, when message translated, only inside brain of person who heard it.
Complexity of who we are, how we are and what we are trying to do is scarcely understood inside ourselves at any moment, so how can we expect anyone to understand, especially if we cannot put words or paint around its dimensions, if we cannot pull the covers off it to reveal our simple failings, our profound alone-ness in this world?
Are we waiting for something?
Solutions emerge out of deliberate planning and problem solving.
Brilliant solutions emerge out of chaos.
I am in that place between deliberate and chaos, near it but feeling far removed at the same time. Breakthrough is coming. I’ve been patient, but not enough …
I can, of course, as I always have – until I am ready to split what must be split, to pull together what must be pulled together, to create great art from this horrid mess called parts of my life that appear to others like limbs pulled apart, parts which are only coming together for the first time.
I am, in this head-space, having these feelings of just getting started.
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: 13C/56F and a light breeze when we walked in the pre-dawn, between night and day, up hills and down again, Gusta walking fast and slow, distracted by every new sport or stinky place in need of investigation – an undisciplined dog with an attention deficit