Dealing with difficulty, with adversity – so easy to push through a hole in the floor – consigning feelings to the basement our being. Or better to let expectations run high, flying in the wind atop that proverbial pole in the sky?
No limit, no fear.
Expectations are like that, higher we set them, greater the disappointment risk.
I’ve not done scholarly research – my queries are curiosity driven without academic rigor; I enjoy learning about people who’ve found their way through their life maze to arrive spectacularly at success in creativity, in business, in the arts, in humanity …
While gurus, coaches and mentors in abundance extol many virtues – what to do, when to do it and what process to follow, so often people achieve great and symbolic things by accident, by taking an alternate path or because they were blocked by some event or person.
Learning comes, for each of us, in events of the day or conversations which seem to be apparently benign – then we get wowed by the impact of a phrase, magic of that moment. Like flags, expectations are something we raise and lower.
I connected with two new fascinating guys last week, one at my instigation (a new connection on LinkedIn), another fellow at a breakfast meeting where he was a guest presenter. I don’t know to describe the how any more than I can predict what will happen moving forward. One I’ve met with, the other is schedule.
How we meet with, connect with and benefit from meeting people who might enrich our lives or our businesses is pretty simple really: reaching out, inviting ourselves to be listeners, to hear what someone has to say because we are interested. Easy to understand if the person is important, has accomplishments or has something we want (they might want to buy what we are selling) or they might introduce us to others – but these are too often obvious and self-serving motives.
More important, what could we give them?
What might we be to them? It’s a hair to split, a fine line to walk in terms of whether we are interested in them or in ourselves. It shows. We can’t disguise it.
What if, instead of meeting someone in the course of marketing our services, instead of pursuing the hot-lead or prime prospect we simply reach out by turning around and say hello to the person behind us in line.
Could be the coffee shop or checkout line, or any other place we find ourselves with a few minutes to spare – just turn around and say hello, with outstretched hand, to the person nearest you. Have a conversation. You’ll never know where it might lead.
What can we expect?
We’ll become more in some important way.
Sometimes money or things, but far more often it’s giving of time and attention – and the best results show up when we set no limit and avoid/ignore the fear. The longer I live, the more I learn, I am constantly convinced life is not about getting – it’s about giving.