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THIS MIGHT BE YOU

Thursday, June 18, 2020
 
 
Somebody – someone you know, is frozen.
 
They are paralyzed.
 
Frozen by fear of going public with an idea, afraid to share their dream aloud – for fear it is not fully baked, or wrong, or embarrassing.
 
That might be you too …
 
Starting things, that’s easy.
 
Hell no.
 
Hell yes.
 
Could both be so at the same time?
 
I love that flirtation phase of new ideas and freshly-hatched adventures, but pulling-the-trigger stage causes me angst. Mostly, I think that’s a good thing which pushes me to do better. Typical, I believe, like driving with one foot on the gas and the other pushing equally hard on the brake.
 
A regime formed, routine – I love ticking every day’s boxes as planned; each week’s honed-routine is disciplined and productive. Effective too. But starting something for the first time is different entirely.
 
I have several ‘getting ready to do things for the first time’ projects on my front and back burners – and too often, I find myself second-guessing whether I’m ready if they are ready. Nonsense, of course, because ideas can’t think or decide when their time has come!
 
This hesitation reminds me of dialing a phone to ask someone out, sending out resumes, and writing proposals – times when I worked so hard to get it just right. And then, afterward, finding so many mistakes, missteps, and missed opportunities.
 
In these moments, it feels like I’m alone.
 
But I suspect I’m not. I expect this is far more common among us than anyone expects.
 
How often do we miss making ‘the call’ or pitching ‘the idea’ to then learn someone else made the call?
 
They weren’t better, wiser, harder working, or taller – they were plainly and simply, first.
 
In these moments, I find it easy to be harsh with myself.
 
It is crucial to keep only one eye on the prize while staying focused on ‘getting it right’ before pushing ideas out into view – but experience has also taught me that maintaining plans shuttered until ready simply delays having them examined by others. I realize this is a self-taught and reinforced good/bad habit worth breaking.
 
The question we all need to ask ourselves is whether that paralyzed person is us – and what we are going to do to break free. Asking someone for help, for their ear, and for some feedback is a great place to start.
 
On the other hand, if it’s someone you know – how do you start that conversation, so it helps them rather than hurts them.
 
Here’s an idea – call them up, say, “I’ve been thinking it would be great to talk – I have an idea I would like to explore, and I need someone to talk to. Can you spare me a few minutes?”
 
Of course, that’s a mildly deceptive tactic, one I’ve used many times.
 
Starting things, that’s easy.
 
Hell no. Hell yes. Both are true.
 
They were when I started writing this, and they are just as valid as I conclude this.
 
And when I write to find out what I think, I’m not frozen any longer.


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