TALK v. LISTEN
Friday, June 18, 2021
Prospecting an orebody – of ideas or people is a peculiar self-study opportunity.
We get to see this in groups and one-on-one.
When working in our jobs, businesses – selling widgets, ideas, or real estate – that’s easy.
Sometimes we need an axe or a chisel, but just as often, we need a soft chamois cloth to buff roughness into a bright shine. We talk about features, benefits, value, and price. We talk service, empathy, and problem-solving skills.
But take us out of our normal skins, put us in situations both unfamiliar and unexplored – then the conversation gets interesting. People tell us their stories, and we tell ours. The prompts, the kick-starters, are often innocuous questions like, “Where were you born,” or “Tell me about your childhood, about your family growing up.” … any subject really, where we can ask, “Tell me about ____________.”
It doesn’t matter whether our question was deeply insightful or random – the magic is not in the question but in listening to the answer.
I have these situations often, and it’s most often me asking and then listening.
Sometimes you have to listen fast because some people get going really fast when they retell their stories and reveal so much. I remember interviewing my hero Ron Ghitter, who afterwards told me I’d missed my calling as a political reporter. Maybe I have.
What struck me most, though, was not any cleverness in my simple questions – but his remarkable storytelling answers.
When we ask little questions and shut up – we get to hear remarkable and sometimes jaw-dropping stories that people tell when they feel safe and know they are being listened to.