MIRROR TIME
… I got the message – one opinion too many
Monday June 9, 2014
No praise fixes what can’t be fixed.
Receiving criticism doesn’t help.
I’m hearing/reading words.
But reacting in different ways to different things said by (or left unsaid) important people in my life so very long ago . . .
Isn’t critique to help make something better?
Suggestions, exploring alternatives – about message effectiveness – for improvement.
True or False?: Writers have thin skins.
Why is critique so easy to receive from some, yet horrible to accept from others?
Do I rail at those comments, or that commentator, react to their point, or to their sword pushing it home?
Playwright John Osborne said “Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost what if feels about dogs.”
“Write while the heat is in you” … said Thoreau. And, I am.
Did he mean - write when you feel strongly, write when you are filled with passion or rage, caught in the act of being really hot – or should I just turn down my thermostat?
Did he mean ‘wait until tomorrow. With the passage of time, decide whether feelings are still strong enough to write that rebuke’.
Interpreting what others meant by asking them, by having that conversation – that would, I think, be better than saying it was bad or disliked without explanation.
My reactions – my mirror, reminder of my own actions when critics are too forceful, or my own critique when I give it too fully.
When cut by criticism, I ponder whether I don’t know how to handle criticism of that kind, or whether I wish they would switch from scalpel to plastic spoon as they dig into me.
Mark Kolke
197,312
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: 9C / 48F, clearing now, fantastic – light shower letting up as we headed up a trail, under a tree canopy, every drop hitting every leaf, pitter-patter music to me – Gusta constipated for some reason, a better problem I suppose than the opposite …
Reader feedback / comments always welcome:
I don't know if you remember me, but, I gave you this email address. I have so enjoyed your columns and writings... Thank you! I was wondering if you are still searching for someone? Your column today gave me the 'courage' (or is hope?) to write you again - as I know I "want someone to play with who" would hopefully enjoy playing with me, AM, Calgary, AB
