CONSIDER THESE
… early or late – just stages
Tuesday Mar. 11, 2014
Aging is a staging thing, a series of performances.
Things work naturally, as they should.
Like motors motoring.
As blenders blend, as friends friend.
These are the same, aren’t they?
Undergoing transition – phase to phase – one stage of living to next, seems so normal.
When we discuss shifting from one stage of dying to the next stage of dying seems negative.
No edge to it, none intended. But it seems harsh.
I’ve watched up-close for years. My dad’s death brings this into sharper focus – that I have no entitlement to live long and well. I have responsibility to keep myself healthy and out of harm’s way.
Otherwise it is chance, luck, serendipity, not mind over matter.
It isn’t about will to live – but perhaps about will not to die.
Life stages keep unfolding every day, for all of us.
Until this show is over.
When it’s over, we can’t fix anything we did.
So, while this show goes on, we need to fix things.
We aren’t putting on a show for friends, colleagues or family – are we?
We should not walk – we should strut. Not to show off, but to show up for ourselves, be our best finest example of what we know we can be.
Those who’ve come before, given us life, deserve no less.
We are putting on this show for our own private viewing – nobody sees completely inside ourselves. Often we obscure it from our own view too.
Not out of shame, blame or some game – we avoid opportunities to consider our own glory, our own beauty, our own capabilities, our own ambitions, our own fireworks . . .
Mark Kolke
198,472
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: -4C / 24F, sunshine, birds chirping outside my window, light breeze – more wonderful melting ahead. We found some long stretches of bare/dry sidewalks – wonderful to have a brisk walk without fear of catastrophe!
Reader feedback / comments always welcome:
Dear Mark, Sorry for your loss. I imagine you are busy attending to details, but please come by for dinner, lunch, breakfast or ? when you'd like a break from it all and would appreciate a little company, LC, Calgary, AB ..p.s. Anytime you just need a little time out. We're here. No obligations, just a little offer.
Hi Mark, Sorry to read about the loss of your father and friend. I can't imagine the many emotions you are feeling at this time. Your father raised an extraordinary son who contributes daily, to the welfare of many. Thinking of you and your family at this time of loss and celebration of a father and grandfather, SM, Calgary, AB
Just read the news; so sorry. Your kind words (including your many Musings over the years) are a fitting tribute to a life well lived, and a man well loved. You are indeed lucky – and so was he – to have had each other. His story – now history, will live on – in you and through you, for generations and posterity. It is the best of stories; good beginning, great middle and wonderful end. Looking forward to the sequel. Take care my friend, KK, Calgary AB
Mark, So sorry for your loss. I’m not sure how I ever got on your list, but enjoy reading it. Other than through your musings, I don’t know either you or your father, however I was deeply moved. Perhaps it’s because I’m watching my father drift away due to Alzheimer’s. While his body is still here, the father I knew has since passed. I know I’ll never have a conversation again with the man I knew as my father. It’s a very different kind of grief. I’m glad you were able to communicate with your old man until the end. That was a gift although I’m sure at times, it didn’t feel that way. For now, know that your words have been cathartic to many, and very helpful; as your musing audience learns, grieves and empathizes with you. Regards, MM, Pickerington, OH
Mark... We are sad that you are sad in the loss of your dad. It's so kind of you to share your journey. Having an only son, i have often wondered how it will be for him when it comes to dealing with us in our older years. Your words helped me see another perspective and helped me feel a little less selfish for having chosen to have only one child. It's a special bond to be sure... But whether we are only children or one of many losing our dad is a difficult journey. Take care, JG, Vermillion, AB
Dear Mark, I am saddened to hear of the passing of your dad. You have my condolences & prayers, MC, North of Cochrane, AB
Hi Mark. My sincere condolences, TA, Calgary, AB
Hi, Mark. I was sorry to read of your Dad's death. You were blessed to have a man of such kindness, integrity and exemplary work ethic for your Father. May your memories of him bring you much joy in the years to come. Like you, everything I learned about integrity was modeled by my Dad. I've missed him now for almost a decade and often think fondly of him. Life is precious, GD, Calgary, AB
