NOW I GET IT
… and the lesson is complete
Thursday Mar. 13, 2014
In every fall, lives a lesson in finality.
Each time we get up, more ready, bracing for next one – each might be that last one which means there will never be another. Nothing left to fear, no bones to break, no more scares.
Each uncertainty day, gone.
Each threat, now empty.
Sometimes a lesson learned in a moment – event moment – changes us.
Sometimes it is a lesson delivered over a very long time that shows up, presents itself in a singular ah+ha moment. Then we say, “now I get it”.
I’m not lamenting what was missing, but saying farewell to what was. That what was, never met any expectation – nor was it required to. It just was.
Sometimes we get what we want every day – sometimes we wait what seems a lifetime to not get it at all. People are who they are, live their lives with every quirk and shortcoming you can imagine and many you would never think of. We live our lives in secret privacy. Others see what we show them. No more than that.
There is a phrase I’d like to purge. I’ve used it myself so my message – for myself and for others – is to eliminate the phrase, “if there is anything I can do, just call me”. It is said so often by people who say it to show that they mean well. The truth is, these words become an empty gesture. We use it when we know there is nothing we can do.
It would follow, I suppose, there should be a lesson every spring.
Spring, finally, is coming.
Spring is never final, is it?
Mark Kolke
P.S.: to everyone who has been so kind and supportive – thank you. I found two cards under my dad’s condo door yesterday. One of condolence, addressed to ‘family’ – from the residents’ association. The other, from someone who hadn’t heard the news, was a get well card. I had to laugh. I had to.
198,424
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: 2C / 35F, light snow to dampen the start of another sunny-thaw day, Gusta is sniffing every matted patch of grass that is no longer snow covered – can’t imagine there is anything appetizing there! … walks were better with my own building’s parking lot being the most dangerous this morning …
Reader feedback / comments always welcome:
Hi Mark, So sorry about you losing your Dad. I imagine you will be feeling a huge void in your life for a long time. My thoughts are with you. I went through a similar experience four months ago and it was difficult dealing with the technicalities and the emotions. Take care, SM, Calgary, AB
Mark: Your Dad wouldn’t expect you to be polite with idiots. Hang in there! , PL, Calgary, AB
Sorry to hear about your father . when one is a kid life revolves around the parents and siblings for many years. Then one moves on and life revolves around other relationships and work for many years . however if a parent , especially if the lone surviving parent , lives into old age with all its challenges then life goes back a bit and begins to revolve around the parent again . this happened to me and my siblings with my dad and it reacquainted us with him and I re-realized ( word?) what a class guy he was . that was all good . you had that too, AN, Calgary, AB
Hi Mark; I wanted to offer you my condolences on the recent death of your dad. You spoke so highly of him and I know that he will have been comforted by your support. I know you will miss him, but I hope that you will have comfort knowing that you spent valuable time with your dad and made his last days precious with your presence and support. Take care, DH, Calgary, AB
I am so very sorry to hear of the passing of your dear father. Through your writings you give all of us a glimpse of the beautiful affection you both had for each other. He must have been a great dad and a great person by the way you have turned out. My Dad is the same age as your Dad and is now in a carehome in rural Saskatchewan with Parkinson’s slowly and steadily diminishing his life. Life is short and precious and I will fly back next weekend to spend as much time as possible with him and my mother who just celebrated their 64th anniversary. I continue to remind myself how fortunate we are to have had them in our lives this long. Please know that all of your readers somehow share in your loss and that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. May God in his mercy ease your sorrow and give you comfort at this difficult time. Here’s a big hug friend!! , DZ, Calgary, AB
Hello Mark – I hope you are doing well. Even though it is a trying time for you I am glad to see you still have your sense of humor. Rgds, MK, Calgary, AB
