It looked great in the store, but when we got it home, not so much.
Everyone’s had that.
In mild cases, we live with it.
If not, we take it back – get a refund, or exchange it for another item which may or may not satisfy us as much as we thought the first choice would (for some people who love to shop, and for some who hate to shop – this is an activity which I believe wastes too much valuable time).
If we are talking about something that hangs on a wall or in our closet, something that sits on the floor or on the kitchen counter, this all makes perfect sense.
We don’t question fundamentals of how we make decisions, we chalk it up to life, to impulses, or minor misjudgments. And yes, sometimes, you can’t tell for sure until you get it home.
But what about other decisions?
A car. A house. A career. A lifestyle. A husband. A wife. Not so easy to take those back, not so easy to ‘do-over.’ We all have memories, and a brain, so we know the same circumstances rule these decisions as the insanity of going grocery shopping when we haven’t eaten – and poor health choices we make so impulsively when we are craving something our body needs, and these choices overrule our logical, calm brain so quickly no matter how committed we might be to the diet-du-jour. We know this each time we’ve spent too much time in the bakery or the salted-snacks aisle. Are not the same illogical factors at play near closing time at the bar? We all have closets filled with the skeletons of emotional decisions that became permanent, ones we couldn’t take back to the stores …
And we are never restored to our former selves.
And we question our judgment for a long time – and we are never the same.
So, shouldn’t we be asking, “When things feel right, are we right?”
Life’s choices are the whole spectrum – the marketplace wins when you splurge, or purge, but when do you win?
How do we win?
I think the best strategy is to spend ourselves, and sometimes our money, on experiences over things; things are necessary, they wear out or become obsolete donations to a flea market or a landfill. But experiences, good ones and great ones keep living in our mind at zero cost when we repeat them in our mind. Bad experiences are over when they are over – no need to go back, repeat, or to remember … except, to remember not to do them again.
Write on, Mark, RH, Calgary, AB/from Bradenton, FL
Good morning, I like your Musings, and am sending a note to let you know. I have some questions about Medium, about publication there, and would like to correspond. Thanks for a response, ZP, Lewiston, Maine