Self-trash-talk isn’t audible, but we all know what it sounds like to put ourselves down or in a dark place because of some inadequacy we feel or fear. We hide it or feel we do, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t show. People who know us well, or complete strangers, can tell if we are off …
And, I believe, we can notice it in others.
The difference between the genuine person and the faker is not visible – we can only detect them by seeing people in action and hearing them talk. And talk. And talk.
Have you ever said to yourself, in some form, “well, I’ve now learned that lesson again” when you’ve made a blunder about something you’ve done badly before, something you’ve stumbled on before?
It’s a classic definition of self-identified stupidity, is it not?
I mean, to learn a lesson again, because it points out the obvious – that we didn’t learn it and understand it the first time, or the first fifty times …
Every lesson is an opportunity to learn something and every learning opportunity is a lesson in noticing our mistakes. Too bad we aren’t as good at seeing/catching/noticing the good things we do, things we do right or wisely, how we handle things marvelously. That would be nice.
Self-criticism is like imagining fruit rotting from the inside toward the outside – you don’t notice it until things are entirely ruined. Recovery comes slowly and then bursts into a flourish of feeling good. If we could flip a switch for that, that would be nice.