Sadly, most of us don’t hear it enough. Not that we don’t hear it enough. Seems universal as we all seek approval and praise from someone – from parent, child, partner or boss.
The reason we don’t hear it enough is not that we aren’t deserving but because we don’t say it enough. And we don’t ask for it either, because something in our brains tells us we shouldn’t have to ask, that it should flow freely and if we have to ask then maybe we didn’t deserve it, which in itself is a bit crazy-makin’, but stay with me here ~
How often do you offer congratulations and praise, how often do you cheer from the sidelines or shout from the bleachers? Exactly – not often, not enough and not to those who need it most. But, if we change our way – a complete 180 degree turn and rather than looking for praise, we give it. Instead of aching for congratulatory words of praise, actively seek out people and reasons to give it.
Make no mistake, giving doesn’t produce getting. But giving makes us more whole, makes us less hungry for one thing because we’ve developed a better appetite for something else.
Not receiving praise/positive feedback is hard for anyone – we need that, we draw energy and self-esteem from that, we get validation from that. Worse than not getting any is not giving any. Some people are stingy with praise – they’ll often explain with “I have high standards” or other rationalizations why they are tough to please but more often I think they are not acquainted with the pleasure which flows from both sides of praise, the giving and the getting.
I don’t think anyone is fooled by or appreciates false praise. But giving more. A little more, or a lot more, is a good thing. It has nothing to do with getting praise but it has everything to do with doing more, feeling more and being more. Being more engaging, being more forgiving, being more kind and being a better person.
Go ahead, praise more. It doesn’t hurt. It really helps. It helps someone else. It helps them every time.