I don’t swim, so I like won’t leap when everyone jumps in the pool, but I’m constantly swimming. It’s more than a pool; more like an ocean of information, ideas and perspective I never had before.
In some ways, it’s like when we search for data, and in the case of my work in real estate, we want everyone (all the data) in the funnel.
Everything goes in because we don’t want to miss anything. That’s not because we can’t choose a rifle shot over a shotgun, but more so because we wish to cast a wide net and catch everything we can before sorting out what we want at the bottom of the funnel; we want to get all the best-refined choices without missing any gems.
Isn’t everything like that?
What home buyer wants to miss out on the ‘perfect home for them’ that meets their needs within their price range? What happens if their agents, when setting the boundaries of the search area, didn’t also look at things slightly beyond the boundaries or limits they established? So we look through more, cultivate more, consider more and look a little further – not to steer off course, but to make sure we don’t miss a gem lurking nearby we would otherwise miss …
Dating and mating (not just via websites) using the world as our pool of potentials, then narrowing the parameters, the way we would tell caring friends, “No, taller!” or shorter, younger, older, more education, less hair on the lip and more on top of the head – or with a beard, without a beard, with glasses, without glasses. You see, it’s a lot like real estate – curb appeal and landscaping guide our choices too much and analysis of substance that matters not enough.
So, when we look in the mirror, are we curb appeal or substance? No. We might be that shallow on the surface, but a short shelf-life is likely if all we have is superficial. We also know that substance alone isn’t enough – it’s like steak without sizzle. We want the whole package. Unfortunately, this is something we don’t learn very well from books or advice from well-meaning friends. It’s assessing our situation in real-time and in real terms. Unlike a house purchase, we later regret, relationships are more complicated than recognizing a mistake and solving it with a For Sale sign on the lawn …
It’s so important, far more than we realize when we are young, that companionship and choosing a great partner in life are too important if you do it well and too crippling of the spirit if you do it poorly.
If we consider what we are searching for in life – and let’s forget mate and home choices for a moment – in terms of career, education, location, avocation, lifestyle, and vacations – what is the answer to: Where do you want to be, and what do you want to choose from?
Try the funnel method … consider everything before ruling out anything.
More than ever in history, and by that I mean the information age, we are now seeing tools to tell us everything we might imagine from the documented history of knowledge – not quickly, but 100 X faster, and we can get it written like an award-winning thesis with ChatGPT right away?
So why is deciding where our focus should be such a difficult task?
I think the more choices, given a breadth of possibilities so vast, it is hard to narrow a selection into a single stream of thought, to narrow and concentrate our focus …
If we only consider what to have for the next meal, it shouldn’t matter much.
On the other hand, if we think about what we want our lifestyle, health, and life expectancy to be, we have to look beyond the next meal to realize it’s ‘all the meals we ever eat’ that determine our health in the future. In other words, our choices today are forever choices because they are with us in one way or another forever.
I am living with my choices.
Everything I’ve ever done has got me here.
The parents I chose, the mates I chose, the children I fathered, the education, occupations, earnings and expenditures, sports, exercise and many other choices – got me here.
So, what’s changed?
Last July, I had a diagnosis confirmed, something I’ve had all my life but never knew – ADHD.
Since last May, this has been on my mind. Since last July 8th, I’ve been taking medication every morning that has opened a new world for me to explore. Same body, the same look in the mirror (trimmer, happier, better focused), and a whole new perspective on many things.
Not so much attitude, not education either – but some experience driving this car with a new engine and a fantastic multi-gear transmission.
I still don’t swim, so I won’t be asking everyone to come into the pool, but I’m swimming in an ocean of information, ideas and perspective I never had before.
I don’t know if anything I do will change the world or anyone else’s world. Still, it’s changing my world – everything to be considered is in my funnel, and what comes out will be better choices and new ways of handling and managing me, but with no particular need to control or manage anyone else.
So, who’s coming with me?
C’mon, c’mon, everybody in the pool now ….
AND - if you have a minute - I've relocated the Monday Morning Minute publication. It's now over on my 'Mark writes here' profile at Substack.