TWO CRUCIAL QUESTIONS
Monday, March 29, 2021 - daily column #6712
Feedback is lovely.
I get unsolicited free-tutoring often.
I enthusiastically appreciate caring input.
Much like being acknowledged or praised, it feels good.
Somedays, however, I appreciate that a little less …
Receiving critique is less gentle and lovely than praise. Invariably, more valuable.
Sometimes the reality bites hard.
I like the notion of constructive criticism, something we relish when dishing out our ‘helpful feedback.’
Not so simple when we are on the receiving end, taking it in …
Most people, the silent majority, never give feedback. They show up. That alone ought to be enough for anyone on any stage, in-person or virtual, but not giving feedback sends a message too …
Criticism is all-important if we hope to improve or solve problems better.
But every critique begs two crucial questions.
Are they wrong?
And, more importantly, are they right?
On the other hand, takeaways offer a completely different variety of learning – the kind you don’t have to tell anyone about. Somebody might be doing a workshop presentation or just telling a story when we hear something clever, something to learn from, ideas to borrow, and sometimes a strategy/advantage to takeaway fast and profit from.
We don’t have to talk about takeaways or to admit that we didn’t know that thing we just learned – we benefit from someone else’s shared learnings, we get insights on what to do and what not to do, and we need never reveal our prior ignorance.
If we are alert, takeaways are everywhere if we are tuned in to hearing them and with eyes wide for watching their arrival. Conversely, feedback comes to us, right between the eyes. But feedback can’t overcome denial; it only helps when we are open to it and listening.
In my experiences, I see most people prefer takeaways to feedback.
Both are valuable, but most people only want what they can take away because feedback, however applicable, requires conceding to at least one person our need to improve – to change.
Most people are so self-protective of what they’ve done, they cannot bring themselves to stand, to see things for what they are or embrace change that could help them so much.
I’ve been one of those too often.