BEFORE, THEN AFTER
Friday, Mar. 6, 2020
First the day before – and then the day after.
Before what?
After what?
Significant moments show up, and we cannot predict their date of appearance until they happen. Then we know that is a significant day – sometimes it’s someone we meet, sometimes something someone says, sometimes a thought drops into our consciousness from something that happened. As often as not, all three of those.
Then our minds can go to questions about what happened before or to what was the cause of that. How did those events, that collision of ideas and humanity occur?
Or we are impacted after the fact – post hoc, ergo propter hoc (after this, therefore because of this) comes to mind.
I was part of a small gathering last night, listening to someone telling their stories, trying to be helpful as part of a focus group – to give someone guidance on how to tell, package, and market their remarkable collection of stories. And of course, the realization is that more than a bundle of stories, that’s a package of truth, slices of someone’s life to be voluntarily put on display. On a stage, on a screen – on a page, somewhere to be seen.
The stories belong to a strong-willed person, both victim and survivor in many ways, yet ‘thriving despite it all,’ someone who has been through too much difficulty for any two lifetimes reminds me that we are all a collection of our life’s stories. Not anecdotes per se, but an oral collection of short stories; for some of us, those stories are aching to get out, while others ache to keep them in.
I was flattered to be invited, to be asked to participate – and I would happily do it again, but evenings like that are more than entertainment. They reach into our heads a bit, and new thoughts take up residence in our head. It seems I always have some available shelf-space.
Our stories, methinks, are windows through which people look inside us – they see who we are, and when tables are turned, we see inside them.
Reader feedback:
Maybe some other father or mother will read your musing today, Mark, and take another look at their reaction to a child’s criticism. You certainly ‘heard the call’ to ‘show up’ differently. Takes the will to be vulnerable instead of defensive, and you are right; a call to action...reciprocity. I hope you appreciate this quality in yourself! My brother did the opposite, sadly, SF, Lethbridge, AB
Congratulations and we'll done, AG, Cancun, Mex.
Wow, Mark … with your heart on your sleeve for all to see … Hope it makes the right contact/connection with your daughter. I’ll be crossing toes, fingers, eyes, and praying that it works, BR, Calgary, AB
"We can change the behavior of one person." It's not easy. Changing oneself requires courage, awareness, acceptance, and then action. I sure hope more people try it. :), GB, Waukesha, WI
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