More often over trivial schmutz generated by poor or absent communication.
Arguments, and negotiations – most difficult to understand are those inside ones, these battles we carry on wiithin ourselves.
One side of our brain argues with the other, when fear and uncertainty mask our self-doubts.
Arguments in silence, laying in bed at night or mirror staring in the morning, daydreaming in middle of a meeting – imagining everyone in the world is smarter, imagining everyone in the world thinks we are nothing particularly bright or special. Mind-games. No-win outcomes are self-fulfilling doomsday exercises.
I’m not saying we should ignore shortcomings. If they are important, we can fix them.
More often those shortcomings (not good enough, not tall enough, not smart enough, not experienced enough) aren’t holding us back nearly as much as internal debate about limitations they pose …
I’ve become more and more convinced lately that certainty in understanding myself, or anyone else, is a silly goal/pursuit.
Uncertainty, on the other hand, is a far more powerful tool that leads us to explore, try, try again, try again and again. For every shortcoming (or is it just that we aren’t perfect?), there are strengths within us far greater. If every minute wasted second-guessing ourselves about our shortcomings was used to hone, enhance or improve a skill …
Yes. We can turn these things around.
One action at a time.
Don’t waste time having an internal list-making session to decide which to try first or last, which has greater or lesser value.
Take action on the next thing. Whatever it is. Then the next.
It might be a meeting, a phone call, an email or the next piece of paper you touch.
Good habits are worth repeating.
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: 10C / 50F, clear and calm, sun rising as we walked – streets empty, someone waved, someone did a strange u-turn, Gusta rubbed her belly on the dew – another (dare I say hot?) day unfolding. Hmmm.
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