LONG CLIMB OUT OF THAT VALLEY
… ups and downs – situation normal, again, sort of
Saturday May 3, 2014
Grasping defeat from victory’s jaws, or was it the opposite?
Had my share – skated by, avoided or ignored most of them because I somehow plowed ahead in ignorance, fear or denial. Holes, and valleys, are deep places. Sometimes dark, sometimes sunlight breaks through.
We stumble, fumble, tumble …
Is it score on that board, gritty fight or yearning for our number to be retired hanging high in some stadium?
We have great falls and monumental collapses. How better to measure joys if we’ve not slugged it out, fighting our way back, in that deep canyon?
I don’t mean ‘worn out from a busy week and exhausted by Friday evening’ thing – but more like that ‘fall from grace’ thing or that ‘unmitigated disaster moment’.
When broken pieces of our lives come back together, I don’t think it happens with crazy glue-techniques repairing the proverbial humpty-dumpty.
If I could have had a better week, it would be hard to describe it. The big-moo part of the big move happened, I managed through it and didn’t skip many beats, a large transaction moved from mid-field to the one-yard line and the next few weeks of due diligence will, I am sure, carry it into the end-zone. Gusta and I had a great week of ups, downs and chaos-avoidance that can only be described as ‘welcome to your new home’.
Hard-learnt lessons – we label as battle-scars, ups and downs, divorces, business failures, broken hearts and wounded ego. Now and again, someone raised our consciousness – stuns us with their vulnerability with expressions of regret, not faux-apology, but real thing. So, to LF from Texas, kudos and thanks.
Mark Kolke
P.S. to mark’s-move-followers; move/purge process took an amusing turn last night. In a pile of summer shorts I found my long-missing (I’d thought I lost it last time I moved) Ketchikan sweatshirt, missing for 2½ years. I’m wearing it now. As for those shorts, maybe I need to ditch some …
198,200
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: -3C / 28F, rain morphed into big snowfall began last evening – the soft fluffy damp stuff, tree branches are struggling under the weight. Beautiful how nature changes everything overnight …
Reader feedback / comments always welcome:
Just the title of your post today made me smile. Thanks for the uplift. Glad to hear you’re settling in. Getting organized and all that jazz. Hugs, LG, Calgary, AB
Mark: nice to learn that you are working hard to apply your mental floss on a regular basis. Each of us needs to do a better job of "getting the grot out", of that we can be sure. But the weather prognosticator was far too optimistic -- on this fine Friday morning, rain is turning to snow at this very moment -- dammit! I can only take so much of this generosity from ol' man winter ... especially in May. It worries me that winter and spring have slowed down so much. Apparently they have some need to spend vastly extended times commiserating with each other, and for much longer than they really should. They are like people who each skid to a stop to spend far too much time engaged in conversation right in the middle of a busy street. Everyone tries to navigate around them and so everything gets slowed down and even more frustrating. Winter and spring have entered their own personal time-warp. "Ahh yes," says spring, "perhaps we should just forget about waiting around for summer. I haven't heard from him since last year. He's probably not coming. Why don't we skip directly ahead to fall -- wouldn't that be grand?" Winter, unceremoniously hanging on well past his "best before" date and still wrapped in his droopy, threadbare old grey shawls from the past January, suddenly perks up. "Well, now, that's not a bad idea!" he exclaims. "If you and I go directly to fall, why, I won't have to leave at all! I can just wait until October and punch in again!" Hey Mark, this casts a whole new light on talking about the weather ... ! Cheers, BE, Calgary
Steve Jobs said “Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice”........ Be kind to yourself, PL, Calgary, AB
I've been thinking of you, dear Mark. Sending condolences - albeit belated. Today's Musing particularly moved me. I was thinking how life does reflect us - and I think the kindness you encounter reflects YOU. As for the other, my advice is read Rumi's The Guesthouse, then give yourself a hug, and let it go, WE, Alford, MA
I apologize. I've reread my emails to you and I'm appalled by my tone in them. Obviously some defect in my own character needs to be examined and corrected. So, with no attempt to excuse or ameliorate my rude behavior, I wholeheartedly apologize to you, LF, Sugar Land, TX
Hi Mark, It is feeling Vancouver today in Calgary. Rains wash up a lot of things. The best thing for me on rainy days is a hot bath (with music), light up a candle and a glass of wine. I had many days like that in my Vancouver island time. You can try. Sun lifts up ego, rains rinse our bad thoughts. I spent this morning in hospital by my mother's bedside. She is a regular customer in Rockyview H. She mentioned about knocking on heaven's door last night but nobody answered the door. She felt very lonely while waiting. Mom is 81, way too young to die now. Her mother lived till 99. When she feels better, I might have to record everything she has seen. Take good care. Cheers, KT, Calgary, AB
