Chicken-excrement behavior in our chicken-excrement world - fearing truth crossing our lips, fearing uncertainty (never solved by feeling certain about anything) and doubt about what we (or others) might think after we’ve uttered our pronouncements.
… you don’t have to be from down on the farm to understand this. We’ve become socialized to believe blurting out feelings, answers and opinions might offend or startle.
As if leaking them out slowly doesn’t make us look cowardly and foolish. Proves we are …
All of us, especially me, could easily change. Easier to be clear, resolved and articulate, right?
But still, we say things like I’ll think about it.
We’ve thought it through enough already.
I loved the late Peter Drucker.
I still do.
His wisdom rings truer than ever: The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.
Just say what you aren’t saying!
Saves time. Saves anguish for everyone involved.
Go ahead, ask me anything. I know immediately how I feel. I know whether I care. Or not.
No need for deliberation or delay. My answer writ on my face (this is why I’ve not chosen poker as my profession).
Our body/mind connection driven by powerful processing power we flippantly call gut-feel or instinct. Yet we speak of mulling things over. No mulling required. We only delaying announcing our decision. Why?
Is this because we really don’t know what we think, fear what others might say if we express what we think – or believe we must defer, delay and avoid confronting truth?
Whose feelings are we protecting anyway?
We know saying pure, sweet, simple truths – giving simple understandable answers is so easily dodged. Why dodge? Could it be fear, uncertainty and doubt?
We could say something near or nearly what we really feel. So often it seems easier, and expedient, to choose safer ground. Which produces dialogue of fuzzy territory vagaries – we don’t say yes, we say maybe.
Saying no. No thanks. Not a chance. I don’t want to. I will not. Never. Uh-uh. These are all so easily uttered – but why don’t we? Instead we stall, delay and avoid – as if some new truth will come sailing into our brain overnight to completely alter our viewpoint.
In closing, another Drucker quote I love, and one I think everyone in business situations and personal relationships should consider seriously and often: There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.
column written/ published from Calgary, AB
morning walk: 2C/35F, overcast – damp and fresh from overnight showers, my knee cooperated for a longer stairs-avoidance walk, a slightly faster one, than Gusta has had all week; good for both of us! Wobbly knees keep my focused on every step to avoid twitchy pain or further aggravating things. I’ve feeling confident enough to play some golf today – hoping my bandaged knee can handle the torque of a club swing easier than the pulling power of an 80 lb. dog wanting to go somewhere I can’t handle.
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