HOPES AND EXPECTATIONS
… safety of having none is neither safe or good
Friday May 9, 2014
Ultimately, great disappointment of life – that it ends.
When it does there is nothing but swirling vortex, world taking up that void as if nothing, as if no one, was ever there.
Like water retaking space displaced by that pebble makes before that pebble reaches the bottom.
Are we not really all the same?
Tossed into ponds, or dissected – no matter our race, location, age or gender – our parts and pieces suggest we are all same.
We could probably all argue either side of these coins, our sameness, our differences – finding there is so much we agree on.
So much we don’t.
Open up our mouths and minds, everything seems so different.
Because we are.
What do we want from people? What do they want from us? Not quid-pro-quo questions.
Do people want to be left alone, or interrupted? Do people want to be busy, active, motivated and driven? Or left to leisure, relaxation, obscurity and oblivion?
“Where there are no expectations, there is no disappointment”, says Charles Krauthammer in Things That Matter (I’m reading it right now).
I think the more important point is that there are expectations in everyone and, consequently, disappointment is everywhere, it is the new black, it is colossal unhappiness across class, culture and societies.
Finding happiness is about having an expectation isn’t it?
Not so much realization of that expectation, but about leaning toward it, striving for it with some form of effort and desire.
We cliché-flog ourselves to death, analyses of how journeys trump destinations, struggles are more precious than prizes.
Of course we would be right.
If we have hope.
When we have expectation.
Mark Kolke
198,056
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: 4C/40F, light cloud, showers predicted; Gusta led me on a longer route early, before the birds were up. Soft light grew – as if travelling from east to west to explore springtime in the rockies … welcome home.
Reader feedback / comments always welcome:
Hi Mark. I envy you that you are sticking with the process. I know it is hard to do. I have a history of stating that I will downsize and every item that comes up I am known to say "Well not that" When I was young, I held onto things although I was always willing to part with something to the right owner. Now that my parents have both passed away, I am slowly letting go of their things because my memories of them are what is important. But now I am thinking of my children and don't want to leave a legacy of holding onto too many possessions. I addressed the issue of belongings that represent me by buying each of my children a piece of art of their choosing. Even the looking for that one treasure for each of them was a memorable experience. When I am gone, I hope they look at that art and think of me. I wish you well in this journey, CG, Cobourg
Mark – It is such a journey dealing with the loss of our parents. It still hurts some days because I continue to miss them – my loss 37 years ago for my Dad, and 19 years for my Mom. I found it particularly hurtful, when my employer of the day said “so – now you are an orphan”. Never found forgiveness for that one when emotions were still so raw. My father used to say: “when someone dies, another is born” – you have had both of these this year, so perhaps you will find balance in that thought. SA, (Susan #3), Edmonton, AB
