Sometimes figuring-out things, figuring-out problems, is far simpler than figuring-out people.
Unless you travel through time/life with someone there is no way to know much depth because people tell you only their view on those few things they are prepared to share. Even when they tell lots, they don’t tell all. In many cases it is what they don’t tell that holds the key to their real self and what you hear is the mask/charade and public face they show. I know that sounds a tad cynical, but realistic methinks.
Long ago I was advised I told too much too soon. Also advised to tell enough, but not all. Someone then taught me microscopic truth telling. I have been, depending on situations/newness of knowing someone – I’ve practiced all these methods. More successes than failures, but I learned there are two elements in trusting, and in telling – truth and disclosure. There is the giver and the receiver of the information – sometimes straightforward, sometimes and awkward dance, sometimes an onion to be peeled layer by layer with a minimum to tears …
Knowing others – a difficult endeavour, or it is sweet and easy?
Figuring out, knowing ourselves, is never quite that easy. How do we let others see what we cannot so easily see, understand or describe ourselves?
Sometimes when we try to figure out puzzles or solve problems we miss a variable (like algebra, only tougher), missing key ingredients to figuring out why someone does something, why they feel as they do and how we make sense of it. Sometimes with our closest friends and colleagues – sometimes, complete strangers. Too often, it’s our-self!