I’ve been doing a lot of work in what I would call ‘the personal affirmation arena’ lately – with what feels to me to be considerable good result. But some doubt persists …
Strangely – I think.
I’ve found different (meaning better) reactions from people I’ve never met, never known before and have pondered this a considerable amount. It strikes me, that people who know us are far less likely to see, embrace or appreciate changes. People we know, assuming we’ve not changed, treat us the same way. Maybe we (or in this case, I) treat them ‘the old way’ too because the script is worn-well and familiar. A bit like moving towns or schools when we were young, our history didn’t have to travel with us.
Do we really have the power of reason – to figure things out, or do we just play with words, pretending there are reasons for things we do rather than admitting to thoughtless comfortable habits?
Each day – working away, resting away or running away, are we closer to understanding anything, understanding ourselves or each other – and better than before?
I’ve been doing some things differently in recent months. Some I’ve learned from wise folks, some from better books I’ve been reading, some from thinking. I know, it seems weird that we can actually affect change in ourselves from something someone said, from something we read or from something that leaked into our head …
The lesson, if I’ve found one, is to change for me.
And you for you.
If anyone notices, that might be a bonus.
But not something to be counted on.
I need a holiday.
P.S.: I’ll try to stay focused on tasks at hand for today, and for tomorrow – but the vacation tug is strong. As I draft this, less than 47 hours to flight time, so my mood/mode and method are directed toward putting sand between my toes as soon as possible. Many thanks to travel agent CCfor her help and advice, taking care of everything except the showing-up part.
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: 11C/14F, steady breeze, fullish moon hangin’ high (shining on Maui too!), enough snow to assure us it will likely stay all week. Driving is a challenge for those slippery-tired folks who think it is still August (lots of crashes yesterday), traffic’s morning snarl making it a good day to stay hunkered inside …