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ON FIRE, AGAIN
Sunday Nov. 2, 2014 
 
 
 
If we aren’t getting what we want from life, we likely aren’t putting much in.
 
What we deserve? 
 
Dealt a bad hand?
 
Wrong place, wrong time, flocking with wrong birds …
 
We get what we create.
 
If we don’t like … we can fix, or not.
 
From waking up in gratitude – through whole days with velocity and attitude, until weary body and busy brain hit pillows – I need, desire and crave fascination.
 
More than curiosity – experience, knowledge, challenge or frivolity, more than fun, yearning and learning, more than sponge-soaking what passes by …
 
Fascination, figuring-out things. First time. Or hundredth. 
 
Finding ah+ha.
 
Middle of page, middle of my day or middle of what I waited all week to enjoy.
 
Perhaps my brain is stretching too much, trying to slide by the tasks of the next while and wanting to ease into that ease of vacation. Soon. Very soon.
 
When life give us anything, is it really?
 
I don’t think much after childhood comes automatically or by accident. 
 
Like radios, tuned to stations we want to hear, volume high. 
 
We miss stations we don’t explore.
 
Miss everything when volume is way down or radio is off.
 
This life, mine, has caught fire from time to time. 
 
Each time fire went out  - easy to blame others or circumstances. 
 
Sometimes, blamed myself. 
 
Each deserved their fair share. Accountability …
 
My fire is burning again.
 
Self-lit. Self-fueled. 
 
No buckets of cold water in sight.
 
I’ve come to this view – the only person who can douse my fire, drown my enthusiasm or snuff out my desire is me.
 
This is true for everyone.
 
Ah … ha.
 
 
 
Mark Kolke
 
 
morning walk:  1C/33F, yesterday’s rain became slow – blanket overnight – and now rain again, making it slush-city. Wet dog and a nice workout for my new boots. My fee are dry, and like I said, soggy-dog. Gusta loves snow in any form, loves to roll in the wet. I used to think she liked the cool, but I think she likes wet just as much. No critters, no noise. Bizarre patterns in the snow from ice calling off wires … looks like computer art. 
 
Reader feedback / comments always welcome:
 
GOT ANY CHANGE?
 
Hi Mark, I was directed to your musings more than 12 years ago by a co-worker at the time.  I had not read blogs before and I found some of your thoughts and comments interesting so I periodically read your musings.  Sometimes I felt your ideas and thought process seemed all over the place and I found it hard to follow what I read at times so I kind of drifted away from your site.   I've recently returned to your musings and I am really enjoying the significant changes I see in your prose, your language, your topics, your thoughts, your focus and I am happy I reacquainted myself with your musings again.  Just thought I'd let you know!, A, ?

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