STUBBORN, the negotiating tactic
Tuesday, November 8, 2022
Consequences are easy to talk about generically but impossible to predict.
It’s a bit like a meteorologist predicting the aftermath of a storm that hits in a different place, with unexpected intensity, or never materializes. The predictor is made the fool for a day, and people affected or in the rescue and recovery field deal with real consequences.
We cannot divorce ourselves from the urge to guess what will happen.
This a lesson in realizing all the energy we spend/waste predicting how someone might act/react to an action or event is better spent on better decisions with verified-factual information rather than based on feelings.
Facts are worth considering for making a decision.
Feelings alone will fail us most of the time.
Facts/history tempered by feelings might help us predict more accurately, but nothing about that is science-based or statistically defensible.
I work in a field where negotiations range from hard to easy, where the best ending is a solid ongoing relationship where all parties grit their teeth, say OK, and feel and sign off, feeling a bit hurt because they didn’t get exactly what they wanted, but they sign!
But experiences have taught me that they often quietly muse about ‘ending up with a much better overall deal/position than they expected.’
As an agent, I play a role in that – but without skin in the game on a transaction, part of the bargain is allowing the parties on each side to feel they are the winners because, quite correctly – they made the decision, they signed a contract.
Parties rarely give unsolicited praise to their representatives, so if that’s what we want, we are in the wrong business. I think this is true of other professions too – people need great engineers, consultants, accountants and lawyers – who get credit, get complaints about high fees, get sued when they make mistakes – and their clients take credit for the full wins every time.
In the agency business, whatever you sell – whether on commission, for a fee, a salary, or some other reward – the role is critically important for a time, for a transaction. Then we are not needed as our clients move on with their business. That’s tricky because we want an ongoing relationship, to be inside the tent as a trusted advisor on an ongoing basis. More often, we are done when we are done and if we are lucky/smart, answer our phone when the time comes, we might earn the chance to represent that client again. Sometimes we retain that preferred-provider status, but competitors always try to show clients why they are the better choice.
That’s hard to defend against because we focus on the next task, the next client, and the next marketing push – and we don’t spend much time looking back over our shoulders to be alert for threats. The bigger the prize and the larger the client’s financial strength and/or magnitude of potential transactions, the more often, when able and highly focused competitors concentrate their efforts on winning that client’s attention and trust for the reward they expect to reap by taking that established client relationship away.
And hungry younger competitors with less experience are like water torture – they wear you down.
Experience, integrity, effective negotiating skills and helping keep clients informed so they can make the most well-informed decisions have been necessary and significant, something clients valued most.
I’m finding more often that competitors and clients find that a challenging minefield; so often, they are too speedy, rushing to the goal line, too often omitting valuable checks and cautions along the way that sometimes have costly consequences.
The converse, the failure to act quickly/decisively can prevent from being lost.
This has been the case periodically, during frenetic times in the market, and less when things normalize. Most people lately are still uncertain about what ‘normalize’ means anymore.
But that’s the bargain. And, in the grand scheme, a fair one two – because the risk/reward elements belong to them, not to the negotiator, and they own the results whether they later prove to be brilliant or ill-considered. Being robust, strong, clear-headed and stubborn are essentials in good business practices, to be sure. The stubborn tactic in negotiations is more effective at burnishing egos than cementing a negotiation people want to live with for years to come.
I love happy customers, closed deals, and healthy paydays no less than anyone else; what rubs sometimes, and I think it governs choices of clients we strive to work more closely with vs. those we drift away from – is respect. Professionalism, hard-nosed fair negotiating, experience and strategic advice matter a lot. But those are commodities people hire and fire all the time. Where is the secret sauce? I think magic comes when we are all those things, but we are rooted in service, good manners and a kind understanding of the people involved.
I don’t advocate for being harsh or hung up on a ridiculous stubborn line drawn in the sand because it’s a one-time tactic that backfires a lot; drawing a line in the sand isn’t a firm position if you are prepared to redraw that line …
Reader feedback:
Who is there to speak for the flies?, RH, Calgary, AB … p.s. : I’ve been dealing with a seasonal mouse infestation much the same way but I stopped using glue pads because they are incredibly cruel. Tried and true Victory mouse traps for me. Quick and reliable, and those mice just can’t resist Kraft Smooth peanut butter.
Open the windows and doors – fruit flies do not do well in minus 17!!, SB, Calgary, AB
“A wild ride of inner-cranial spelunking” ….it is, indeed, the best of times, MK, Calgary, AB
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