Mark's Musing Saturday Oct. 24, 2009 today's Musing written and published from the Kamaole Sands, Kihei, Maui
Morning walk: 21C/70F, high 85F expected again today, I started late/slept late, sea calm, wind absent, sky virtually cloud free - except for a crown around Halekala - which made walking a well lit but not sunny experience; by the time I began my homeward leg, the sun had emerged to begin, once again, its process of making everything here very hot.
Yesterday, 'time at the beach', shopping day; excursions to MaalaeaBay, the Kihei Café (I'll be back!), the Maui Tropical Plantation and the King Kamehmeha golf course ; photo below taken from the golf course road looking south-east across the central valley, with Haleakala behind those hazy clouds.
The first week here seemed slow, lovely-long; the second has sped by so fast I'm feeling/fearing the next few will race by too. The sand in an hourglass flows through the pinch-point at a consistent speed, but it seems to speed up when there is not much left. Visiting here is, as always, spectacular fun; living here remains a dream/want/wish, this place is more than what I want, I know it is what I need.
Preparing for this trip, frenetically clearing the decks sufficiently to be away this long was something I thought I'd not do successfully; I knew I needed this break, wanted it, worked for it, earned it, savored it in my mind intensely ..... but also wondered how I would handle the break, handle the issues that might be pressing urgency to get me back to my desk, back on task, back at work. Two weeks in I'm feeling truly relaxed and content the amount of work waiting can wait five more days without perilous result, the logic to go home competes with the desire to stay forever. There is a peace between those polar opposites I'll surely solve one of these days.
It seems, each day, there is more to see, experience and be surprised by; in terms of sites, shops, places - we'll run out soon, but in terms of experiences I feel like a kid just starting a new job, so much to learn and see, so much to experience first hand.
Thoughts, words on paper and words aloud convey what we want to say we want. But, is that what we want? Will getting what we want produce happy times or simply point out that the 'want' was some symptom or clue to what was at the root of our quest, or longing, or desire to make a change?
The Rolling Stones created a great line - perhaps we like it because it contains an answer we seek: 'You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.'
Cause for pause this morning; I walked familiar beach where I saw a woman there, standing in frothy water lapping at her knees, coffee mug in right hand, her left clenched her sundress - hiked to keep dry. At first blush, not an odd sight, people stop all the time - to stare at that glassy calm, scouring horizon for a whale fluke or, for some, to stand rock-like locked in trance of meditation. This was different - tears streaming were the clue, not from sobs, but more from unrestrained waterworks expunging something. Sadness perhaps. Maybe memories. Or grief. Or joy. Of togetherness, of aloneness - only one person knows.
We each know what we want, so we think, an understanding of what brings us joy, fears, tears; we each know what makes us happy, what leaves us feeling sad or empty - what makes us let our emotions flow. Any day, any of us could be standing there, flowing tears and nobody would know why. Most would walk by, not a care, unable to react - they have their own tears to cry.
Understanding what we want (you, me, us), and how we go about getting it, is something that interests me both in terms of understanding others - and in understanding myself.
To be here, and to be without inspiration, is something I cannot imagine; to be here and to be without joy is hard to imagine. I imagine, for me at least and maybe too for that woman on the beach today - to look out to sea, to see life, to see ourselves, to stand on a beach bathed in tears is probably more about joy than pain, more about open heart than open mind.
What I need is found here. I know it.
Mark Kolke 327,468 199.2
Note: double click on picture above to enlarge it
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Responses / comments from yesterday:
October 23 Responses
October 23– CALM OR NOT – Interesting muse today Mark. I find your calm akin to what I call stillness. The sea can be raging in the storm above yet far below there is stillness. Factually and metaphorically speaking, our waves are influenced by currents and elevations that rise from the deep. Calm people sense movement of the water but are not carried away by it. Their strength is in stillness. The terminally self-stressed will find this idea of being still and doing "nothing" quite ridiculous and will try to ride every set that rolls in thinking "There must be a good ride in it for me"... eventually they may find themselves floundering in the surf...they were lacking experience to know that the face was unpredictably steep. There is power unknown where currents originate...from the deep within. Some currents are good. Some are bad. Some push. Some pull. Some rip the sand right out from under your feet. Rest, Mark. Pau hana, Mark. Be still, LP, Wailuku, HI
