This wisdom is not found in any grade school curriculum, but it should be.
Expecting a result when it is something we’ve never asked or articulated a desire for in some way is a poor percentage bet. If we want the sale, we know we have to ask for it; if we want someone’s donation to a cause, we have to ask, and if we want people to volunteer – to lend their hand to our cause, we have to ask.
It follows, then, does it not that if we want help, we ask for it?
If we want to be understood we often have to ask for that too.
I expect everyone wants something – approval, understanding, agreement, moral support – from parents, partners, children, bosses, and employees, but if we don’t ask for it, what are the chances we’ll get what we want from any of them, ever?
Not everything is a negotiation – sometimes we need to ask because if we don’t ask, most people won’t know what we want, need or are missing.
Ask more often.
But then pause, and ask yourself: who isn’t asking me? Who isn’t getting what they want or need or are missing from me?
It’s a double-edged blade, one to use artfully and with care.