Opening-up to trusted friends is an option, but what then becomes their role?
Listening only, or proffering help/intervention/advice?
When well-meaning helpers pile on, what appears as helping hand, shoulder, or ear comes with too many effing conditions.
That’s the bargain, isn’t it, support – but with strings?
When I want advice, I’m open, ask for, and sometimes pay for it, but when at my wit’s end, I don’t want implied requirements to disclose, delve into, and then be accountable to friends or strangers keeping records, having eidetic memories, or expect ongoing accountability.
Eff off, it’s private.
Eff off, I’m not prepared to share.
Eff off, I have enough stress/tension already.
We need better ways to get help, get out, get over, and get through …
I like the confessional concept. Catholics might be on to something there.
I gather they enjoy consummate secrecy, revealing every guilt-riddled thought, fear, and difficulty – unlike sharing the deepest parts of psychological underbelly with someone who might re-tell, rebut, or refuse to tolerate us once they know our most private thoughts.
Asking friends or family members is no easy bargain either; coming with effing strings in some form, and then leaves that person the legacy of having our messy shite in/on their mind.
Head-doctors come at a dear price. Great clinicians, in my experience, usually have effed-up lives themselves …
A choices dilemma: priest, friend, shrink, 1-800-help, or self-isolation.
In my experience, telling too much creates a strange brew, whether submerged in my pity-party mode or trying not to be, not something I want to or feel capable of doing.
P.S.: I watched the Howie Mandel documentary the other night – 2 hours of frank revelations about an extraordinary life of luck, magic, craziness and emotional difficulty; well worth the watching if it is rerun
As Amanda Marshall sings, “Everybody’s got a story that’ll break your heart”, RH, Calgary, AB
Hi Mark, If anyone out there wants to talk to someone and share whatever they’re going through, they can always call Distress Centre Calgary at 403-266-HELP. Our vision is that everyone is heard. Thanks, KV, Calgary, AB