MUSINGS and other writing by Mark Kolke

. . . . . . there is no edge to openness

TODAY'S MUSINGS

FEEDBACK / COMMENTS

MARK SPEAKS

MARK'S SPEAKING TIPS

ARCHIVED COLUMNS

ARCHIVE WINTER 2020-21

ARCHIVE AUTUMN 2020

ARCHIVE SUMMER 2020

ARCHIVE SPRING 2020

ARCHIVE WINTER 2019-20

ARCHIVE AUTUMN 2019

ARCHIVE SUMMER 2019

ARCHIVE SPRING 2019

ARCHIVE WINTER 2018-19

ARCHIVE AUTUMN 2018

ARCHIVE SUMMER 2018

ARCHIVE SPRING 2018

ARCHIVE WINTER 2017-18

ARCHIVE AUTUMN 2017

ARCHIVE SUMMER 2017

ARCHIVE SPRING 2017

ARCHIVE WINTER 2016/17

ARCHIVE AUTUMN 2016

ARCHIVE SUMMER 2016

ARCHIVE SPRING 2016

ARCHIVE WINTER 2015/16

ARCHIVE AUTUMN 2015

ARCHIVE SUMMER 2015

ARCHIVE SPRING 2015

ARCHIVE WINTER 2014/15

ARCHIVE AUTUMN 2014

ARCHIVE SUMMER 2014

ARCHIVE SPRING 2014

ARCHIVE WINTER 2013/14

CONTACT

MY REAL ESTATE LIFE

WHY I WRITE MUSINGS

SHORT STORY PROJECT

POETRY PROJECT

SELECTED OTHER WORK

OH, BITE ME

Friday Oct. 19, 2018

I hear people complain, often, when people they are dealing with – friends, family, colleagues, bosses, employees and most especially customers – change their mind.

I’ve encounter my own angst moments over this many times. What I’ve come to sense is this problem is too often viewed incorrectly. It isn’t so much that people change their minds, as it is that they don’t know how to ‘make up their mind’ in the first place. Whims become ‘choices’ but then indecision sets in. They don’t change their mind so much as they hadn’t really made up their mind in the first instance.

And, I’m also convinced, quite often is passive-aggressive behavior of ‘appearing to go along’ when deep down they really hold some contrary view they have not disclosed. Ferreting out what people really think is a daily challenge in management of people in any setting, in families often and in sales – always, always, always! This is not to say that decisions shouldn’t be changed, and sometimes very swiftly, when circumstances change. Change the facts, review the decision.

The trick, when someone makes a decision, is knowing whether that is really a decision, or of it is just ‘getting you to shut up’. I get that sometimes. And sometimes I miss it completely until it comes back to haunt me …


SIGN UP TO GET MUSINGS BY e-mail: CLICK HERE

SIGN UP TO GET MUSINGS BY e-mail: CLICK HERE

sign up to get Musings free daily


Comments are always welcome - please contribute to the discussion.  Reply to: kolke@markkolke.com

You can also connect with me on LinkedIn. This site is updated daily, each column is retained in the archive when the next day's column is loaded ...  


Copyright - all rights reserved - Mark Kolke, © 2003-2021