Boundaries and comfort zones – are the same, right?
Or are they entirely dissimilar generalizations?
AND, I’ve been deciphering the epiphany value/thud of identifying my own undiagnosed (I’ve always wondered - but now I feel confident) A.D.H.D. thanks to Dr. Gabor Maté. I’m finding his talks enlightening and validating.
Back to my point – boundaries vs. comfort zones – because that is my focus.
Comfort zones can be about ‘straying across the dotted-line boundary,’ but I think they are more the territory of discomfort. And that discomfort comes from knowing and feeling on a gut level that something is different. It might be wise and wonderful or dangerous, but discomfort is a warning to be wary and possibly also to get excited. Comfort, on the other hand, is tricky because all those things we do and the people we interact with might be harmful. We don’t notice because those habits are comfortable, those well-worn paths of behavior.
Boundaries are delineations of what is OK vs. what is unhealthy/wrong or not our business. We’ve all been there, intruding where we shouldn’t, but we need to be most vigilant when others violate our boundaries. Whether purposeful or accidental, we have to be the gate-keepers of our own gate. The tricky part is recognizing someone violating our boundaries that we overlook because what they are doing and saying is ‘comfortable’ – and the only way to change that is to change friends, relatives, or colleagues. Or, we could change how we treat it. That means standing up, standing firm, and speaking clearly to the offender: “Hey, you’ve crossed a boundary here – back up, please, NOW!”
P.S.: I’ve been getting active on my YouTube channel – it would be helpful to me if you ‘subscribed’